Sundays, Mondays, and Sunrises

You know what? I absolutely, totally, completely adore mornings. I went to bed at 10:45 last night, and I woke up at 5:15 this morning. I opened my eyes, and I was awake. I was so happy I even wanted to sing in the shower (which is rare - I don't sing in the shower. And a bad idea at five in the morning). I didn't. I was awake to do homework, but I just love mornings. When I feel fresh, bright eyed, clean, awake, excited about the day with no stresses yet, and all of my are deadlines hours away. I made hot chocolate and got to work. I was at least ten times as productive as I am late at night, and I got to see the sky turn from black to pink to blue (well, grayish if I'm being honest) outside of my window, and got to walk up to campus while it was still empty, the buildings excitedly waiting students. It's a beautiful day.
A lot of people say that they hate Mondays, and it is just something I don't agree with. The only reason for hating Mondays is if you didn't use your weekend well (or were not able to). Weekends are for resting, catching up, and for Sunday. And Sunday is for finding peace, joy, and rest, and feeling the love of God. After all that, you think you would be prepared to live life on a Monday. If life was made up entirely of weekends, then it would be awful. You would be resting from resting, and how enjoyable is that? And if you weren't preparing yourself to do something worthwhile with your week, then what are you doing with your life anyway? Sure, I like to party it up on weekends as much as anyone, but I also love Mondays.
And you know my favorite thing about mornings? Let me describe it to you. My alarm goes off (which I admit is a bit shocking at first to a sleeping brain), I turn it off, and slowly open my eyes. My bed is warm and snuggly, the air is slightly cool, and natural light is beginning to peak through my window. Slipping out of bed, the coolness makes all of my senses sharp and clear, and my brain comes to complete awareness. I feel like I have such a crisp sense of being that I am perfectly control of my mind and body. Everyone else is still asleep, so I slip quietly around the apartment, feeling the peace of everyone else happily sleeping, and just soak in the beauty of a new morning. Once I take a warm shower, the warmth of fresh clothes and the coolness of wet hair continue to brighten my senses. I am filled clear to my toes in energy, peace, and quiet being.
Can't you see why I love waking up? It is a combination of the soft natural light of sunrise, the contrast of snuggly warm and refreshing cool, and quiet peace. Mix it all together and I feel the joy of the morning. :)

Adventuring

Last night Erilyn, Elise Evans (Vans), and I decided that we were not going to sit at home on a Friday night. It just wouldn't do.
At first we had no clue where we were going, but we dressed up and got in Erilyn's car Suzy. Vans looked edgy in her zebra striped one sleeve shirt and fedora, Erilyn looked classy but out-there in her black one sleeve with red underneath and a bun, and I just looked preppy in my free Hollister shirt and flower headband. Oops.
We decided to crash a YSA stake dance in Orem (don't worry. We knew one person in the stake - Sarah's second cousin Katie, whom we love dearly), but we were going to be way too early (only half an hour after it started!), so we went to the mall for food. On our way to the food court, we were very distracted. Forever XXI has the strangest mannequins... Which requires prompt imitation....

Sorry Ben, Vans found a new man. This is about when we were told to stop by an employee...

Remember how we were on our way to the food court? Well, we took too long. They were closed by the time we got to that end of the mall, so it didn't happen. Worth it for the mannequins? Yes.

Then we went to the Stake Valentine's dance. We didn't know anyone there, which immediately leads to acting like complete fools. We danced harder than almost anyone, and had a blast just being ridiculous. And their weird pillar decorations were just asking for it (they were actually a cute idea, if I'm being honest. Just a little...funny. :) ).

"One Grecian urn..."

Excited?

Maybe not.

I have no idea what is going on in this picture, but I absolutely love it. Weird.

We're cool.

 Then we went to Sparks, this place in Provo that serves mocktails. For those not from Utah/Provo, mocktails are really yummy drinks that look like cocktails, but are nonalcoholic. They actually are fun, but are an interesting commentary on Mormon culture - we don't have a club/bar scene, so we make up things like mocktails - nonalcoholic drinks that are mimicking alcoholic drinks - to feel cool. hmmm.

Waiting

What a cute couple. :)

classy with a kiwi drink

Wow. I wish I was that cool.

Yep. I look preppy. And my drink matches my shirt. But it was really good - blackberry raspberry.

What a fun night! Next time, we will try a new scene. Maybe a concert outside of Sammy's cafe. Or maybe our next adventure will be the Holi festival. In either case, it will be a slightly different crowd. After all, Provo is an exceedingly diverse place (*cough*). Well, at least it is trying. :)

Tank Full of Faith

You know, this blog in general is more like a public journal than anything. Sorry that doesn't mean that I share a lot of cool, fun things I'm doing. It consists more of me telling you what I'm thinking, partially because I'm not doing that many cool, fun things.
This semester has been hard. Really hard. I have never been so busy in my entire life. Besides Sundays (thank the Lord for Sundays), all my time is spent doing school, work, sleeping, or eating. And honestly, I'm not working, sleeping, or eating really that much (sorry mom). I feel like I am constantly running from one class to another, from one homework assignment to another, and just going until I drop unconscious for a couple of hours in the night time (or day time, depending if I had time during the night before). I will be too busy to go home an eat at all in a day, and stay up late and wake up early doing homework. It is a constant barrage of things I should be doing. I am barely keeping my head above water.
And as I run up four flights of stairs to be on time to work or turn in my math assignment (because the elevator is too slow), I start to wonder why I don't just drop dead on the spot. It seems that I am constantly exhausted and hungry. I think, "why don't my legs just refuse to take the next step? How do they do it?" and "why does my brain submit to do this next math problem? Why doesn't it just go into a mental break-down?" How can I constantly be a day late and a dollar short and still manage to mostly make it? That doesn't make sense. I should be laying collapsed somewhere in the Talmage or Eyring. Really.
I've learned that it is because I'm not doing it by myself. When my tank is empty, somehow liquid faith seems to make up for the lack of food and sleep. I don't think my engine would be running without it. When I just have enough oil and meal for one more day, somehow the "cruise of oil faileth not" and the handful of meal still is there. I "just keep swimming", just keep walking, just take one more step. I make it to tomorrow, and when I get there, somehow there is enough left in my empty tank to make it to the next tomorrow. It doesn't make sense at all, but it works. I don't even want to consider what would happen if I let my busy-ness prevent me from personal prayer and scripture study, or what would happen if I did homework on Sunday. I really might fall dead on the spot.
Thank goodness that an empty tank can run on faith. Who knew. I didn't think I could handle this much, and really I can't. Good thing I'm not soloing this one. And you know? Life is good.

Cucumber Sandwiches

Because I am the proud owner of a tea set (from Claire's bridal shower), I felt a huge need to pull it out and put it to use.
So I threw a tea party.
I encouraged everyone to dress up, and spent hours making the perfect tea party foods. We had hand squeezed lemonade (amazing! Made by Elise Evans, my roommate, also the photographer), cucumber avocado and cranberry turkey sandwiches, thumbprint cookies, cupcakes (by Erilyn), and cream puffs (provided by Claire). I was most excited about the cucumber sandwiches because of the movie/play the Importance of Being Ernest. I guess that means that I should have also had muffins, but I just didn't have time.

Making sure everything is perfect

Finger sandwiches are essential

Floppy hats are a great idea.

Pearls and lemonade

Everyone seemed to have a great time. It was fun how excited even 20 year old (or older) girls get about dressing up and feeling feminine with a tea cup in hand. Accents, vintage dresses and pinkies all came out for a good time. They insisted that we do it again soon, and even wanted to start a book club or Jane Austen movie parties. I was glad to have started it all.
Now that I have practiced, I am going to do it again, but larger and better, and get people to bring things. I have had a few boys beg me to invite them as well, which I am considering. Of course they would have to wear suits, look nice, and not make fun of anything. It's going to be great.

Feeling Loved

This semester I have a job. Yep, a job. This is the first time that I have worked while going to school at BYU. For the longest time I didn't want to work while doing school because I was afraid that it would hurt my grades. But I decided to get a job this semester because I thought it would be good work experience, and because I need the money.
So I work in the Physics 106/123/220 TA lab. I sit in a room full of tables and whiteboards and wait for students to need help with their homework. The room has no windows, and is a random L shape. It really isn't that cool of a room. But I am happy out of my mind whenever I'm there.
Today I was wandering around waiting for someone to ask me a question, wearing a huge (big size fits all) ugly green vest and a name tag, when another TA called me over to a student. He was protesting loudly, "I really can explain this!!" Her response was priceless, "Yeah, but I just get it when she explains it. I like it when she helps me." The muscles in my face got all sorts of excited, pulling my mouth into a big grin, and pulling my eyes all wrinkly and small. What the love of a student can do for a TA. This girl actually sent away another TA that tried to help her because she preferred me. She learns best from me.
This would be super exciting by itself, but she isn't the only one. I feel like I'm tooting my own horn, but I don't think anyone else is stepping up (well, besides the students, I guess) to blow it, so I will anyway. I have had other students who stop putting up their stick when they have a question (that is the system. They put a colored stick corresponding to their class in a holder on the table to get help) and just wait for me to look their direction or walk past to snag my help so another TA won't come over. Or I will help them with one problem, and they try to keep me to help them with every problem. Or they will try to keep me to help them study for their test - review everything with them. Obviously I can't just stay with one student for a long time without neglecting the other students, but sometimes I get trapped by my own enthusiasm.
Today a student wanted me to help him with a problem. Fairly soon he was asking all sorts of questions totally unrelated to the problem on hand - everything that ever really bothered him in physics. Because what a lot of physics teachers/professors don't admit is that sometimes what they teach you in class goes against what you experience in real life. And sometimes students get tired of just having faith in what they don't actually believe because it doesn't feel true. Because the thing is that real life isn't as simple as what we like to pretend it is in physics. I'll admit it. Air resistance and flow (not to mention viscosity of air), friction, variations in gravity, non linear effects, and non elastic collisions all exist. It's true. And beyond that there is so much more. Anyway, the point is that I think I changed his life. It was so cool. This guy was just venting to me about how he believed that air was there and that it had weight, but it actually doesn't fall, so the gravity isn't really doing anything on it after all because he knew I would listen to his questions and actually try to answer them.
When he had fully vented and was satisfied (for now) with my answers, I looked at the clock and realized that I had stayed 20 minutes after I was supposed to be off. Oops. He felt terrible, but I smiled and explained, "I love my job. I feel like a total nerd, but I love my job." A couple students looked up and smiled (chuckled even), but I smiled bigger then any of them.
And when another student (another of my regulars) stopped me on my way out the door for one last question even though I wasn't wearing a vest or name tag anymore, I couldn't help but stop and help him.
And as I skipped home, half an hour late and absolutely happy, I knew I was in the right major.

Just a Thought

Recently dating has been on my mind.
I know, weird.
But here is my short thought: sometimes two people may be compatible and attracted to each other, but it still might not work out because of differences in expectations.
Example: if a guy expects a girlfriend who is exciting and outgoing, good to show off to the guy friends, and a good kisser, he better not try to date me. Not that I can't be those things, but I expect to be a girlfriend who is a little predictable, a friend to talk to, and someone to hold hands with on a long walk. It's all in the attitude.
(of course there is a lot more to it than that, but that shows what I mean.)
He could be really nice, and really a good guy, just raised with different expectations for relationships than me. It happens. I'm pretty conservative.
The other way works too: I expect a guy who wants to listen about my day, is excited to put aside other things to spend time with me, and has a shoulder for me to put my head on during a movie.
But what if he expects to do more than talk or listen, to spend money on gifts and flowers, and to be a manly man influence in my life.
That wouldn't really work out.
Maybe I'm doomed to die an old maid. That's okay, too.

(just kidding. don't worry. ;)  )