Grace

Recently a lot of events and circumstances in my life have been hard, or perhaps just my definition of hard. They weren't anything out of the norm, and they really don't sound that difficult, but they were and they are. The hardest part was that I was trying absolutely as hard as I could to be good and make the right decisions. I was doing all the right things, or doing my very best at doing all the right things. But no matter how hard I tried, I always fell short, and my imperfections were rubbed into my face. I tried to be humble about it, to react in the face of trial the way I am supposed to - you know, the sunday school answers - but sincerely. It didn't seem to help.
As I was struggling with my imperfections - not with the gospel, just with myself - heaven opened. I went to church and everything was tailored exactly to fit me. All the testimonies born were perfect. But the winner was in Relief Society. The lesson was on Grace.
Grace isn't something I have really thought about much before. It isn't really emphasized in our religion - we talk more about the being saved by works part, forgetting that both are important. Obviously we talk about the saving power of the atonement a lot, but I guess I didn't really understand the idea of grace. The teacher opened the lesson with three scenarios where a person needs to find the value of grace in their life. The last one was "the girl who is doing everything she can, and trying her very hardest, but still falls short and never feels good enough". Obviously I burst into tears at the very beginning of the lesson. No hope for preventing sobbing for the rest of it.
The first place we turn to learn more about what grace is is in the Bible Dictionary. Here are some of my very favorite snippets:
"The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ."
"It is likewise through the grace of the Lord that individuals, though faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ and repentance of their sins, receive strength and assistance to do good works that they otherwise would not be able to maintain if left to their own means."
"This grace is an enabling power that allows men and women to lay hold on eternal life and exaltation after they have expended their own best efforts."
"Divine grace is needed by every soul..."
I was just overwhelmed. Heavenly Father sent that lesson just for me. Well, and a couple of the other girls I saw bawling their eyes out with me. I just needed to hear that - Christ won't just top off my cup at the end, he will help me fill it all along the way. He strengthens me, fills in for me, and recognizes my true effort. "I am a great sinner and Christ is a Great Savior". I can do all things through his grace.
So our bathroom mirror now reads,
"Grace is an Enabling Power
Have you used it Today?"