Hind Sight

I've been meaning to post for a long time. There has been so much going on in my life, but so much that I don't know how to post about.
Today, though, something happened that made me thank my lucky stars.
Story time. (shortened version. If you want the full version someday, ask me in person when all of my roommates are there to pitch in their part). Fall Semester 2009 I met a guy. He was nice, he was fun, he was a good dancer, and man he sure was suave. He had a fabulous first impression. I was interested, and so was he. So we hung out, we went on some dates, and he still seemed fabulous. Sometimes we didn't click perfectly, but most of the time I felt like we did. Then he decided that he wanted to have a DTR (without having held hands yet or anything). So we did. Without hinting at how he felt at all, he asked what I felt, and what I thought should be the next step. He basically put me on the spot without risking anything. Without thinking at all, I said that I didn't think we should date. It was strange because I did like him, but I just didn't feel right about it for some reason. We talked for a bit, and it was over. I went home and cried. I was really sad. I knew I had done the right thing, but I was still very upset.
Here comes the hind-sight part. After crying myself silly, I began to see who he really was. He stopped talking to me, deleted me on facebook, and successively tried to date 8 other girls that were my roommates or lived in my apartment during the summer. We began to see how selfish and immature he actually was. After things blew up with the last of my roommates and his best friend, he moved and deleted his facebook account. I haven't talked to him in months.
Today he got engaged. You know, I wish him happy. I try not to think about his motivations for marriage, or the likelihood of it lasting, but I really do want him to find happiness with her. But at the same time, I am filled with gratitude that I listened to that still small voice that told me simply, quietly, but surely, "no". And you know, sometimes things that are really hard, painful, but right decisions at the time will bring loads of joy later. That is what I am feeling right now. Joy in the right decision. I am so glad that I chose two days of puffy eyes and runny nose over a painful few months of dating with more tears or an eternity of misery.
Wow that sounds a little mean. But YAY! She's not me!
But that same train of thought (painful decisions now for eternal gain) reminds me of other decisions I need to make currently. For those of you that don't know, I have started my mission papers. I still don't know if I am going, but I figure it doesn't hurt to start. I am trying so hard to make the right choice, but I can't seem to even figure out what I want that right choice to be. If I knew what I really wanted, I could just go for it and wait for confirmation or denial. But I don't. So it makes it much harder, because the answer I have gotten is that I need to go in some direction before I can get guidance.
But honestly, it seems like everything always turns out for my good. I've had  wonderful life, even without being able to see the next step. Why should this be any different? Whatever I end up doing with my life if I feel good about it and led by the spirit, it will turn out. Life is good. :)