Eventful week of happiness. :)

Dearest Family!

I love reading all of your emails so much! You make me soooo happy! This Thanksgiving, I was grateful for my family very most of all. One of the main things that we show in the VC is a presentation called God's Plan for His Family about eternal families and temples. You may have seen it before, but they updated it this summer, so you should see it again if you are ever near a Visitors' Center. It reminds me of how blessed I am to be with my family forever! The sister in the movie really really looks like me, everyone says, and her little brother is a red head, so the movie has special significance. But just all around, the temple is amazing! I love that I can be will all of you forever!

Speaking of temples, we have the news about the Kansas City Temple. It will be finished March 1st, and the open house is all of the month of April. The dedication will be in May. We are all getting really excited! I have no idea where I will be then, but I could still be here (our mission president keeps people in the same place for a long time. Sister Dodd has been here for 7 months). Who knows. But I hope I can be a part of the open house and dedication!

My Thanksgiving was a good one, and an interesting one. We had it with Keara's family. I brought a pumpkin crumb cake. It was so different from any other Thanksgiving I have ever been to! I think if they hadn't noticed our pause, they wouldn't have even blessed the food. They would have just dug in and started eating. People ate wherever they wanted in the house (watching Avatar or Lord of the Rings), and there was no really family togetherness. But they were really nice to us. Keara's dad was a little drunk, so he was very friendly. Everything was happy and funny to him. Her family were hesitant at first, but really were kind about us coming. I think it was good to show them that we are nice, normal people, and that Keara is in good hands. Beer was going round, but it was still a good Thanksgiving (except they didn't have rolls. I miss rolls! :) You know me. )

How are my investigators? The only one that is progressing is Lyric, but I just love her to pieces!! She is amazing. She knows what is right, and so now we are just building her desire to do it. On Sunday we had a lesson with her where we brought a member so that she could meet a convert to our church. Mary Kay is very friendly, and kind of loud, so we hoped it would go well. In the end, we kinda lost control of the lesson, but it turned out okay. I learned that I really need to have faith that this is the Lord's work, and if I'm not in control sometimes, He still is. See, Mary Kay dumped Sabbath observance, the 3 hour block Tithing, the Word of Wisdom, and blacks in the church almost all in one breath. We hadn't told Lyric about any of those things -- she's moving slowly. We didn't get to say almost anything the whole time. In an hour and a half, I just remember bearing testimony of church attendance (that was our goal -- to get her to church). Mary Kay also told her that we would tell her to live more strictly than she actually had to. That was frustrating.

So we left the lesson and I was very frustrated. I'm not very good at hiding that, either. I felt justified in being frustrated. Sister Dodd didn't say anything about it, though, so I didn't either. We went to dinner with members, and then headed back to the VC. I had calmed down, so on the way back, I started talking about the lesson, and all of the things that I thought had gone wrong and how frustrated I was about it. Then Sister Dodd said kindly, perfectly, "You just have to be careful to not let Mary Kay or Lyric see. We are the face of the church." And I sat back, and thought about it. I had felt justified in being frustrated, and showing my frustration because any normal person would have in that situation.

But the thing is, I'm not a normal person right now. I'm a missionary, and I represent the church and the Lord. And even if I wasn't, I've been given so much in my life that I can't ever be justified in something like that because a normal person would. I am not a normal person. I'm a member of the Lord's church. I know the truth. And I know better.

So, the Lord is working with me. I'm learning that I can change things about myself that I thought I couldn't. I thought they were things that are "just the way I am". But that is a horrible excuse, and the Lord is showing me how I could be better. It was a really big learning experience, and I won't make that mistake again. I am changing in a good way out here in Missouri. More than I thought was possible. I'm learning to not underestimate the Lord. He always proves me wrong. It's good. :)

Then on Tuesday we had exchanges with the Sister Leaders (they have those, by the way). We didn't know who was being exchanged with whom. So I told Sister Dodd that I would be fine with anything except taking over the area for a day with the Sister Leader's companion. But the call came, and that is exactly what happened. I was super nervous. A day in our area without Sister Dodd, and with a sister that was expecting me to be in charge. I didn't feel ready! And I thought that the people in our area would be disappointed that Sister Dodd wasn't coming. They love her, so I was nervouse to go without her. And I didn't know the sister that was coming with me very well. She is very nice, but a little awkward. So I was nervous.

In the morning we were in the VC together, so it didn't even feel like we were on exchanges. But then the afternoon came and Sister Dodd left. We did comp study, which went well. Then we headed out to our area. We had some confusion over where some car keys were, so we were running late to our dinner. So I called our dinner to tell them we were going to be late. The member said, "Oh, do we have you for dinner tonight?" I freaked out. I thought Sister Dodd had called them to remind them the day before! So I told a white lie that I was looking at the wrong day. Then I went all sorts of awkward, stuttering and stumbling over my words. I made it sound like it was our fault but then said I didn't know what day they did have us, showing my white lie. I told them to not worry about it and hung up. I felt so stupid. I felt like it was my fault - that I should have called them. I shouldn't have assumed that Sister Dodd would! A few embarassed tears leaked out.

But Sister Rupper (the sister I was with) was optimistic and said, "Look at it this way, we get more time in your area." So we went to work. It turned out that we skipped dinner that night because there wasn't any place to eat near where we were. I cheered up, and we went to work.

Then we had an appointment with Lyric. I brought her my cookies, which are her favorites. She says that I should move in and just make her cookies every day. :)

But the lesson went WONDERFULLY. So well. It was almost good to go there without Sister Dodd so that I could build a relationship of my own with Lyric. She's been reading the Book of Mormon (a chapter a day), and I was just there to read a chapter with her. But we did so much more than that.  At the very beginning, she look at me and said, "Oh, I just love your face! It makes me so happy! I was lookin at you the other day and thought, 'I bet she doesn't even know she's gorgeous. You're gorgeous!" And laughed at my discomfort. She laughs a lot. It's good. :) Then we talked about what happiness is. Lyric doesn't think she's ever felt true happiness. She's 70, and bothered by the fact that she hasn't found her life's passion yet. She looks at us and sees that we are happy. She doesn't beleive that we have ever been unhappy. Then we started reading with her, and (an answer to a very specific prayer of mine earlier that day) she was on 1 Nephi chapter 8!! It was a miracle! I had asked for that very chapter earlier, but didn't think she could make it that far. She had read three chapters the day before to get there to answer my prayer that I hadn't even made yet!! We took turns reading, and it was her turn when we got to verse 10 "and it came to pass that I beheld a tree, whose fruit was desireable to make one happy." She paused and chuckled. "Happy. That's what we were just talking about!" We read the whole chapter, and with no explanation, she got it. She guessed that the fruit was salvation, and was shocked to be right. She thought about the people that were ashamed of the fruit, and reflected (on her own) that sometimes some people might be afraid of saying that they were mormon. She felt guilty for saying that, but she is right. Some people are ashamed.

Then we discussed prayer, the atonement's ability to clean her of 70 years of life, prayer, Kingdoms of Glory, prayer, desire, prayer, the Word of Wisdom, prayer, happiness, and prayer. She is having a really hard time praying, and she connected everything we said back to prayer on her own (in a frustrated way). She knows she needs to do it. She just doesn't want to. She knows she should quit smoking and drinking coffee and tea, but she doesn't want to. We talked about how God knows her potential, and He knows how happy she could be. That's why He asks her to do things. Just like a dad would tell his kids to stay out of the street because he knows they will be happier if they don't get hit by a car. But running in the street looks so fun! The spirit was there so strong, and I just felt so much love for her. And I think she loves me, too. :)

Then Sister Rupper asked Lyric hat she was expecting when she prayed. "I want a burning bush!! I'm not joking!!" Then she paused, "I know when you pray, you are supposed to be reverant and close your eyes, but when we pray I'm watching your faces. I want to feel the joy I see in your faces when you pray." wow. I... wow. We couldn't have planned that. She's not feeling answers to her prayers, or so she thinks. But she is happy when we are there! So we pray for her every day.

You better believe I am studying prayer and desire this week. Pray for Lyric! I can't even describe how much I love this woman. I just want to keep her forever. I think even after I get transferred I will write to her. And you know, I can imagine her being baptized now. I couldn't at first, but she is growing. I can see it. And I want her to have that happiness!!

I'm running out of time, but I am very happy here. Things are wonderful! I see miracles every day! You could, too, if you look for it. :) Good luck with your gingerbread house, school, families, and everything. I love you.

 

Love,

Sister April Atkin

 

P.S. We chatted with someone and brought the spirit into his home! He thanked us for the spirit we brought. He thought that there was no way the atonement could clean him of what he's done or that he could change. He felt loved. He's meeting with missionaries already. It was wonderful!