Dating can be Awkward

Yep. A post about April's dating life (another one? yes).
I was talking to a friend the other day and I realized what a strange dating life I have had. I have some pretty amazing stories. Amazing meaning abnormal.
See, I have a strange talent for attracting two kinds of guys (with some exceptions. Clearly.)
Nerds/Weirdos
Bad boys who are fascinated by my Molly Mormon-ness
I thought it was about time my blog got a taste of some of the strange dates I've been on/been asked on. On the bright side, I am getting much better at saying no when I really don't want to go.
Let's start with the Nerd/Weirdos category. I have been asked on a date to the Physics lab (dinner first, lab homework after), I have been shown a 25 year old's high school year books on a date(*yawn*), been asked through email, text, and facebook (which I understand there are circumstances that make that okay, but there are circumstances where that isn't okay), and had high fives, hand shakes and guys that stay 10 feet away at the door step. I've even been just dropped off. I've had dates where my date said maybe two sentences to me the whole time, or disappeared for half of the date. One guy put me in a head lock and gave me a noogie. Don't worry, I punched him. Oh, and don't forget the Freshman who took me out on his meal plan (I was a Junior at the time).
Then there was Elvis Jr. (yes, he was named after his father) visiting from Tennessee. It was a blind date that Claire was supposed to go on, but backed out to go on a date with her boyfriend (fair move). So I went. It was for a dance, so we had a day date the night before the dance date. For the day date, we went to a corn maze (it was a group date). Problem: Elvis was meeting us there. His family lives in Utah, so he was spending some time with them. So while everyone was chatting it up with their dates, I was staring out of the window of the 15 passenger van for a half an hour. I sure felt cool. When we got there, it turned out that Elvis' family came along. They did the corn maze with us. His little sisters were running everywhere giggling, and his dad gave me a handful of corn to throw at Elvis. I didn't. Awkward. Elvis didn't talk to me much. He seemed a little strange. Then we left, and he stayed with his family. Another half an hour back by myself. Great. The huge van stopped to get everyone Krispy Kreme doughnuts. The guys tried to quietly discuss who would be paying for me. They were all just paying for their dates, but at this point, I had no date. Fabulous. I made up a new rule on the spot: I don't eat doughnuts after 10. It's unhealthy. Relieved, I was ignored once again.
The next day was the dance. It was an informal Homecoming dance, so the guys decided to do matching shirts like Sadie Hawkins in High School. Elvis bought us Yoda shirts. That's not embarrassing to show up to dance in. He didn't talk much, and when he did, it was phrases like, "I don't believe in love". Oh. Okay. Great. Not that I was thinking this was going anywhere, but isn't that a bit strange to say on a date? Anyway, then we went to the dance. Oh, dear. Elvis did his model walk impression. great. Then he "sprained his ankle". He would sit on the floor for a while, but then he would forget it was sprained, and jump up and dance. Then he would remember again how hurt he was (10 minutes later or so), and the cycle continued. Fabulous. Man, I think I'm getting really tired - is it time to go yet?? Ugh. Anyway, after it was over, I was left with a green Yoda shirt, some awesome memories, and an aversion to the middle seat of 15 passenger vans.
For a short period of my life I went Blues dancing. Blues can be fun when it is with clean, fun guys, but the problem is that there is no guarantee that only good guys will want to dance. That's actually why I stopped going. One guy in particular that used to go was particularly fascinated by me. He enjoyed seeing if he could freak me out, awkward me out, or in general push my boundaries. He was a nice guy, but not my normal type (tattoos, earrings, beard, etc.). He liked to ask me if we were friends or if I was afraid of him. Then I stopped going to Blues and he moved, so I thought I would never hear from him again. Then yesterday on Facebook, I got this message: "I remember you. I always thought you were so cute". That's all. Ooookay. "I remember you. I always thought you were weird"...
Sometimes I am just surprised by who asks me out. I have found that if I meet a guy and have a horrible first impression ("you drive me nuts!" "you are not my type" or "what a oddball!"), it is guaranteed that they will ask me out. I think I must be very attractive when I am rude, or something (This has happened many times). In my last ward there was a guy who kinda bugged me. As soon as I had mentioned this to my roommates, he was assigned to be my home teacher (thanks, up there, I get the point), and he asked me out. I had something going that night, so I couldn't go, but he couldn't take that as an answer - he kept questioning me. "Are you sure? I bet that will get out in time for you to go. Concerts always run short. You could come if you really wanted to." Umm, I still can't go. Now I feel awkward...
Oh, and I haven't even mentioned my high school stalker! For starters, he had some features in common with Napoleon Dynamite (the 'fro, the jeans...). I gave a talk in a Seminary Assembly in ninth grade, and the next day (the day after my birthday), he gave me a note thanking me for my talk, and saying "he would like to marry someone like me someday", and closed by giving me advice on being more humble with some included scriptures. He started eating lunch with my friends, and giving me more notes. Long story short there were several confrontations where I told him to leave me alone, but he continued to call me, write me notes, and ate lunch with my friends. One of his notes said that whenever he called or wrote me a note, he prayed about it first. Most of the notes included scriptural advice about what I should do with my life. Early on he told me I was a great girl, but I was "feisty". In context, I thought of it as a compliment. Once he gave me an "I'm sorry" rose. My dad and I thought I really needed to get rid of it, so we gave it to our neighbor for her birthday. She probably thought we were really strange.
Hahaha, well, that was fun to reminisce about. And really, there are so many more awkward and funny stories in my dating life. Maybe I'm the only one that thinks they are funny. *shrug* I am excited for the someday when I won't have to worry about any of it anymore. Then my stories will be even funnier. I will tell my teenage daughters about the good old days, and make them laugh. Hopefully they will realize that I've been through it too, and hopefully I won't forget what it was like to be here. Someday maybe someone normal and attractive will ask me out, and maybe I won't be too afraid of their awesomeness, and I will finally be done with the silly rules and non-communication and awkwardness of dating. But for now, I will build up my reservoir of I've-been-theres for my daughters, and hopefully make some funny memories. I think a mission would be a nice break, too. :)

Jammin' with Willie

I know I just posted, but I was listening to my music, and I started to laugh about how much of it I found because of Willie. By far, Willie has had more impact on the music that I listen to than any other individual. So here is a thank you, and a list of a few of the many songs I love, know, or currently can't stop listening to that Willie introduced me to.
First of all, one of his new favorite artists is Ben Rector. Here is When A Heart Breaks, but I also found that I like White Dress by him, too.





Here is another one from Willie I can't stop listening to. I don't know what the lyrics really mean, so if you figure it out, let me know. I think it is the piano part that gets to me (you know I am a sucker for piano). It's called Lazarus by Porcupine Tree.



And this list wouldn't be complete without September by Earth, Wind, & Fire.



On a different note, Claire shared this song with me, and I actually really like it. I had to listen to it a few times to appreciate it, but now I really do. Wake up to an early, quiet morning and tell me that she didn't capture that fresh new feeling well. (the ending is still a little weird for me). A Good Day by Priscilla Ahn.



And here is a song I just have been listening to on my own. It's another one that I listen to over and over again. I Will Follow You Into the Dark by Death Cab for Cutie.



So there you go. Thank you for sharing this musical moment with me. And thank you Willie for being a groovy man and having awesome music.

A Fresh Start

So I'm moved into my new apartment, and I went to my first class today!
And you know what....
I'm lonely.
The apartment I moved into is made for four girls, but only two bought contracts. So I have my own room again. There are things that are awesome about having your own room - you better believe my room is adorable - but I would rather share. I'm not very good about being by myself.
My one roommate seems really nice. I really do like her so far. We just don't know each other yet.
I'm so used to coming home and telling Claire or Erilyn or someone about my day and being able to talk about just anything, but I can't right now. I don't have friends that live with me, I don't have friends in my ward, and I don't have friends in my classes. I know that I did the right thing and that I needed this change, but it is harder than I thought it would be.
So I am trying to have patience. I can't expect to have best friends on my first full day here. It is going to be an awesome semester. Just not today. Hopefully being lonely doesn't last long.

A Record Finish

I'm finally done with finals!! I was planning on being done before the last day, but somehow that never works out for me. Today I took my last math final EVER. I'm done with math!!
Some people have been done with math for years, but I have taken at least one math class every semester since I started here at BYU. That is a total of 6 semesters and 7 classes. I'm now done with my math minor. (I'm impressed with that, even if you aren't)
Of course, I had to go out with a bang and spend five hours on it. Yep. By some miracle I am still breathing. Differential Equations, I don't hate you, but I don't really think we ever could be friends. In fact, I will probably never spend time with you again.
The weird thing is, all five hours were productive. I wasn't just staring angrily at my test (sometimes tempting), I was actually working on it. And you know, it was awful, but it actually is kinda cool that I can concentrate on one thing (with short mind rests) for five hours. And it actually is kind of cool that I can do problems like that. In a nerdy kind of way. In a way that I will never use again.
In case you don't know what differential equations are:

I can do most of these, not all.

Yeah, I'm that smart. Well, not really. I'm probably not going to get an A. Well, I'm really not getting an A. Probably a B.
But it doesn't matter because I'm done.
Hallelujah. :)

A New Adventure

Most of you know that I have decided to stay and take classes during Spring Semester and stay and work during Summer Semester. Well, up until a few hours ago, I didn't have a place to live, even though I have to be moved out of my current apartment on Saturday. Scary? yes. Happy ending? yes. Is it boring and probably not what you care about? Also yes. Oh, well.
Because I am considering a mission pretty seriously, I haven't signed up for housing in the fall (that is also scary, but I'll face that when I get there. Like my dad keeps telling me, I can't eat the whole elephant at once). I wanted to live with Erilyn for Spring/Summer, and she wanted to live where she was going to live in the fall. So I was waiting for her to figure out where she wanted to live so that I could live there, too. We narrowed down the list, and then got too busy to do anything about it.
About a two weeks ago we finally realized we were running out of time. And Lizzy had moved back (I know! I got a roommate back for my birthday! Now my room doesn't feel so empty. :) ), so she was joining the housing hunt. Together Erilyn and Lizzy found a place to live in the fall, and decided to stay here for Spring/Summer. I have lived here for two years. I love Regency, but I can't live here for another month!! Let alone four!!
So faced with that decision, it seemed that I was moving out on my own. I freaked out for a moment, called my parents, calmed down, and went back to work. I narrowed down my list of hundreds to seven, made phone calls, asked people for advice, and visited a few. I started to feel really good about living on my own. I started to realize that it is exactly what I need. I need change. I need something that will make me get outside of myself and be outgoing and friendly, and really just something that will help me grow. Here is my opportunity.
In the end, Lizzy and Erilyn didn't get spots here because it is full, but they found a house they want to live in that just isn't for me. I think they will be very happy there. I, on the other hand, even after doing all of my research and writing pros and cons lists kept feeling good about this one apartment complex - Monticello. It is the most expensive on my list, and really didn't have enough pros to make it the logical choice, but I feel very very good about it. And you know, when something feels right against all logic, and I feel peace like that, I've learned to go for it. So I did. Today I bought contracts for Spring and Summer. And I am so excited. :)
Let me tell you about my new place, now that I am so excited. Location: they are located about as close as anything can be to campus. It is across the street, although I have to hike up a huge set of stairs to get to classes, it is also in the middle of almost all other off campus housing. I'm close to nearly all of my friends. Layout: It is smaller than my current apartment. There are only four girls, though. The bedrooms are up a narrow set of stairs, and are on the small side. Downstairs is a fairly normal living room just inside the front door, and I actually really like the kitchen. The kitchen has a back door onto a lawn shared by the complex where people can just hang out. It has a pool. There are boys in the complex, which is weird because I have been living in the nunnery for two years. It will be good.
But the best part is that this is probably the most highly spoken of BYU ward...ever. I have never heard such high compliments. Everyone says that it is a very social, friendly ward. I'm really excited. So I am moving on my own, but with some work, I think I can make new friends (and still hang out with my old ones, of course. :) ). Today I started packing instead of studying because I am so excited to move. I'm not usually this good at change. But I am sure ready.

Pinterest

Can I tell you about the latest silly thing that I have gotten into?
It is called pinterest and is a new form of social networking (like we need more of that, right?) but it is actually really fun. It basically is a website where you can share pictures of things you find on the web that you love: home decor, craft ideas, fashion, food, or really anything. When you find a picture that you love you click the "Pin It" button on your toolbar and it will pin to one of your "boards" on the website. Honestly, it is really mostly for girls. I don't know why a guy would get into it. It is still in beta stage, so you have to request an invite from the website, and it is still growing, but you could be one of the first if you wanted!
Here are some of my favorites that I have pinned:

adorable

I love this house so much!

hahah! :)

Beautiful Kitchen

I want my hair like this for my wedding. :)

See? That was fun. So, if you want to join me, it is pinterest.com .

Hind Sight

I've been meaning to post for a long time. There has been so much going on in my life, but so much that I don't know how to post about.
Today, though, something happened that made me thank my lucky stars.
Story time. (shortened version. If you want the full version someday, ask me in person when all of my roommates are there to pitch in their part). Fall Semester 2009 I met a guy. He was nice, he was fun, he was a good dancer, and man he sure was suave. He had a fabulous first impression. I was interested, and so was he. So we hung out, we went on some dates, and he still seemed fabulous. Sometimes we didn't click perfectly, but most of the time I felt like we did. Then he decided that he wanted to have a DTR (without having held hands yet or anything). So we did. Without hinting at how he felt at all, he asked what I felt, and what I thought should be the next step. He basically put me on the spot without risking anything. Without thinking at all, I said that I didn't think we should date. It was strange because I did like him, but I just didn't feel right about it for some reason. We talked for a bit, and it was over. I went home and cried. I was really sad. I knew I had done the right thing, but I was still very upset.
Here comes the hind-sight part. After crying myself silly, I began to see who he really was. He stopped talking to me, deleted me on facebook, and successively tried to date 8 other girls that were my roommates or lived in my apartment during the summer. We began to see how selfish and immature he actually was. After things blew up with the last of my roommates and his best friend, he moved and deleted his facebook account. I haven't talked to him in months.
Today he got engaged. You know, I wish him happy. I try not to think about his motivations for marriage, or the likelihood of it lasting, but I really do want him to find happiness with her. But at the same time, I am filled with gratitude that I listened to that still small voice that told me simply, quietly, but surely, "no". And you know, sometimes things that are really hard, painful, but right decisions at the time will bring loads of joy later. That is what I am feeling right now. Joy in the right decision. I am so glad that I chose two days of puffy eyes and runny nose over a painful few months of dating with more tears or an eternity of misery.
Wow that sounds a little mean. But YAY! She's not me!
But that same train of thought (painful decisions now for eternal gain) reminds me of other decisions I need to make currently. For those of you that don't know, I have started my mission papers. I still don't know if I am going, but I figure it doesn't hurt to start. I am trying so hard to make the right choice, but I can't seem to even figure out what I want that right choice to be. If I knew what I really wanted, I could just go for it and wait for confirmation or denial. But I don't. So it makes it much harder, because the answer I have gotten is that I need to go in some direction before I can get guidance.
But honestly, it seems like everything always turns out for my good. I've had  wonderful life, even without being able to see the next step. Why should this be any different? Whatever I end up doing with my life if I feel good about it and led by the spirit, it will turn out. Life is good. :)