Random Snippets

So I haven't blogged for a little while. It isn't because I lack the desire, because blogging is one of my favorite things, I just can't think of anything noteworthy enough to blog about.  Unable to stay away, I'm going to blog about a lot of random thoughts/occurrences to scratch that itch of desire to blog.

First of all, I realized why I love blogging. I am addicted, and sometimes when I am doing normal things I think about how I could blog about it. Why? I think it is because of my major. I had no creative release this semester! I was in mostly science-y and math-y classes, and I had no form of creative expression. I need something creative in my life. I have been keeping a better journal, and this blog also serves as a kind of journal. My brain is still creative, and still likes to be philosophical in my science classes. So it is. And here you are, reading the result.

I moved home! So it seems I have made up my mind about this summer. It is good to be back. Our family seems to get along even better this summer - we are growing up. I won't work until the week of May 10th, but that doesn't seem that far away anymore, especially with how busy I've kept myself this week. Yesterday I visited Provo (I know, less than a week after I left) with Jessica. It was strange to go on campus and see people going to classes when I am not, but at the same time it was a relief. I need break.

I got my grades for this last semester, and they were all that I could hope they would be. All A's except a B+ in Physics (I hate electricity and magnetism - good thing I won't have to teach that). That includes Linear Algebra!!! I got a 90 on the final, and I only needed a 87 to get an A. It was a good boost to my math self esteem after the Calc 2 episode Fall semester. I love linear algebra! Mostly because I'm good at it, I guess.
Direct result: my grades were high enough to pull up my GPA to the point where I will get to keep my scholarship next year!! That is a lot of money, and a lot of relief.

After finals, I sat down fully intending to whip out a watercolor painting, but Artist April had other plans, and threw out a charcoal drawing instead. It is tiny, and not very detailed, but it captures something. I think, anyway.

Tomorrow my best friend is getting married. (*pause. deep breath*) wow. That came so quickly. She is getting married in Bountiful at 8:30 in the morning, having the luncheon in Kaysville, and then the reception in Logan. I get to be there for the whole thing in my ivy colored bridesmaid dress that is still coming together (thank you mom). I'm excited, and sad, and a little stressed, and happy. I'm glad that I get to be a part of it.
Excited: she did it! I already told you all about that.
Sad: Married people and single people don't hang out very easily.
Stressed: I am giving a toast at the reception and I don't even know how. And I will help with the whole process.
Happy: I get to be there. I have a wonderful friend. She's getting married in the temple.

Claire called me the other day to tell me about her engagement pictures and even emailed some to me. With all of this wedding stuff on my mind, I feel old and old maidish (which really is silly). Thinking about it, I realized something. Marriage is not = maturity.
That doesn't seem like that big of a revelation, but it really was. I am just as mature as Claire and Mindy. I've met married people that I am sadly more mature than. But that has nothing to do with it. Marriage happens at the right time, the right place, with the right person, and when you are ready in other ways than maturity. I am not ready. This whole time, knowing that I wasn't ready to be married, I thought it was because I was immature. Not so! (not that I'm super mature) It is because I'm not ready! I'm not ready for the commitment, the responsibility, the boy, or to leave the singles' world. I can be mature and still not be ready. I'm happy to still be with no strings attached.

Along similar lines, I have started to notice that I have indeed, started to grow up. I'm afraid that I will be silly for my entire life, but silliness and maturity aren't enemies. Look at my mom.
And you know, it feels good. I like it. :)

Happy Today

Last night as I was falling asleep, thinking about how I was going to move home today, an interesting thought came into my head. I realized that I am half-way done with my college experience and I was kind of sad about it. I kept thinking, "Man, I need to having more fun because these are going to be the happiest days of my life", and "Man, life after college won't be fun." and "These will be the good-old days someday."
But really, that's not how it is supposed to be, is it? That sounds so depressing about the whole rest of my life. It makes growing up sound boring, scary and sad, which I really don't think it should be. Every day should be a "good day", and I should never live in the past. Granted, my life is going to never be like this again, but it will be happy.
I talked to Claire about something similar the other day. She's engaged, and will be married before I even know it. I asked her, "are you ever worried that being married will be boring?" because everyone knows that your social life is pretty much wrecked when you get married. Her response proved that she's ready to be married: "You know, I worried about that, too, until it was Devin. And we are good at having fun together all the time and not getting tired of each other. I won't get bored. And even it does get boring, it will be a good boring, you know?" I have a sage for a roommate.
I've decided that I want every day to be the best day ever. No use wishing I could stay young forever. Growing old will be fun, too, as long as I let it be. :) Joy in the journey - even the end of it - right? There is absolutely no point in being sad that time is passing, if I am living my life well.
It is a similar thought pattern to remembering to be happy now, and not "when...". If we are always waiting for the future, we'll miss it! Life is full of the busiest days, and that is wonderful.
We can't be stuck in yesterday, or tomorrow, because joy comes from today!
So I fell asleep satisfied, and happy. How is it that the best thoughts come when I am (falling) asleep?
My conclusion: I am going to find joy in every today.
You'd better believe it. :)

An Eggy Adventure

I ate a duck egg today.
I know, it really isn't that exotic, but really it is. Would you eat a duck egg? Really?
The story goes that my friend/future roommate went on a date. It happened to be with a guy she didn't know very well, more as a favor to his family than anything. When he came to pick her up to go out to lunch, he had brought a gift: duck eggs. You can just imagine how the rest of the date went, with him wearing his favorite shirt - blue, button up, with bright colored, realistic looking frogs on it. Turns out the eggs are from his family's pet animal farm. Interesting...
She and her roommates tried to eat them for breakfast - scrambled, even - but still couldn't get past the idea that these eggs could have become ducks. Not to mention that they looked really weird - a thicker shell that was almost glossy compared to chicken eggs, huge, and almost half yolk.

So what did they do with them? They gave them to guys in our ward, to put in a roommate's bed. Oh, and gave one to me (upon request).
And there is where my adventure started.
I decided to fry it like a normal egg, you know, easy over, or as my family calls it, "runny".
It was surprisingly hard to crack. That shell was thick!

When it came out, the yolk was huge! It looked like a large, orange mountain in a small frying pan.

I flipped it, but the yolk was so big, that it held its own against gravity.

Time to eat. My roommates were a little grossed out. And I'll admit that the color of the yolk as it flowed out kinda made me gag a little. But eat it I did.
Annnnnndddd....it tasted like an egg. There really wasn't that much of a difference from a normal chicken egg. The egg white had a little bit of a weird texture (in addition to being paper white), so I didn't eat much of that, but it was just an egg.
But now I can say that I have eaten duck egg.
And it was definitely worth the adventure. :)

Updater

A short update.
I don't have long to write, but I just received an email from Dr. Barret. A short line:

"After thinking it over for two to three days, I decided to ask Jeff in our class to be the TA for my 313H class in the fall."

And I'll admit that I had gotten my hopes up high enough that I cried.
Well, I guess that takes one factor out of my decision for what to do with my life. I'm sure there is an upside.
Somewhere.

Life is Ironic

It's true. Life is completely ironic. List time! (Some members in my family have inherited the "I love to make lists" gene. I got it too. :) ) It's a short list, although there are probably many more I can't think of right now.

• Today is the first day of finals, and the weather is beautiful, and my apartment complex is filling up the pool. The tree outside our balcony is blooming, and there is plenty of grass for a picnic.
• Sometimes the things we want the most are the things that make us the most unhappy.
• Art is used to express feelings about life, yet many artists give up life (which should be their inspiration) for their art. No wonder they are often depressed.
• The things we practice the most are often the things we need to practice the least (this is particularly applicable to my studying habits for finals).

That's all I have for now, but hopefully you have some of your own to think about. Life is ironic.

Nerd

Recently, the term "nerd" has been forcefully brought to my attention. In this last semester I have been called a nerd more times by one person specifically than I have by everyone else in my whole life combined. Naturally, it made me think a little harder about the term.
I'll admit, it actually bothers me. I love learning, but no one has ever looked down on me for it before. In high school from what people said to my face I was smart, but still respected. I don't define myself by my major, by my "smart"ness, or even by my grades. That is such a little part of who I am, and how I view myself. I'd much rather people think of me as friendly, happy, kind, a good cook, the girl with a big smile. Maybe even define me as an artist. Not nerd. I shouldn't care what people think of me, but I do sometimes. Sometimes I have to. Doesn't the average person care if their friends like them?
So, in order to settle my thoughts about the matter, I looked up the word "nerd" online. The irony - that is a really nerdy thing to do. But I did it. And here is what I found.

• "an insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or boringly studious"
• "Nerd is a term often bearing a derogatory connotation or stereotype, that refers to a person who passionately pursues intellectual activities"
• "A person who, although having good technical or scientific skills, is introspective and generally introverted"

Gross. Not exactly what I wanted to hear.
Then I found this:

"Nerd – Supposedly the term was coined in the 1940s at the Renssellear Polytechnic Institute in Troy, New York. It was meant to describe the opposite of a party person, a.k.a., a drunk. The opposite of a “drunk” is a “knurd”—pronounced “nerd.” "

And, I'll admit, it made my day. Being the opposite of a drunk doesn't have to define me either, but I can definitely handle it.
Take that.

Decisions, Opportunities, and Life in General

It seems that whenever I think I have my plans for the future (even the immediate future, like the next week or two) all set out perfectly, is exactly when everything decides to jump out the window - self defenestration, if you will. It's not always bad, but it is always unexpected.
This time it all started with a phone call. It was on my birthday. I didn't hear it, and actually I didn't even answer. But they left me a message. It was Macey's, my supposed summer employment. I've been a faithful employee for years, and they have kept me on as a summer employee for quite some time. In the past they always seemed happy to have me back. They don't have a spot for me. They don't have hours, and when they do have hours, it won't be full time like I need. Well then. Source of income - gone.
At nearly the same time, I started considering becoming a TA for Linear Algebra (Math 334), which I love. I enjoy the class, it makes sense to me, the professor is nice (wonderful actually - the perfect grandpa figure), and I even like the textbook. I love to teach, and I like helping people with their homework. While I was still thinking about it, he emailed me. He actually emailed the top nine students offering them a TA position. I jumped on it. "I am interested!"
Turns out that Dr. Barret is only teaching the Honors section of the class next semester, which means that they meet every day, and that the TA teaches on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They will also be teaching Matlab - a computer program language/program for more complex math - which I don't know at all.
I met with Dr. Barret to talk about it, and he seemed optimistic about me getting the job. He was super relaxed. Only one other student has shown interest, and it sounds like they don't have my pizaz. :)
Anyhoo, the point of all that is that I might have a job for the fall, which is comforting considering my current financial situation. The one problem is that I have to teach myself Matlab over the summer, which would clearly be easiest if I was here at BYU, where it is on all of the computers.
I talked to my dad, and his response was, "well, maybe you need to stay in Provo for the summer." I could get a job, maybe get some classes done, and learn Matlab. I really actually want to. So there is that decision. Along with the opportunity. And I have to face it all, and figure it out, while acing my finals. Here I go.