Farewell

Yesterday was a wonderful, difficult, perfect day.
It was my farewell talk at church with an open house afterwards. As soon as I sat on the stand (actually did you know it is called the rostrum? I didn't) before the meeting started and looked out over all of the people that had come out to support me, I started to cry. I felt so overwhelmed by all the love. I had no idea so many people cared! I was also bursting with the love I felt for them. I was having a hard time holding myself together and I hadn't even stood up to give my talk yet.
Then I gave my talk. I feel very good about it. My subject was "restoration", which is vague enough that I really could do whatever I wanted to with it. First, I talked about the miracle of the restoration of the true gospel in its fullness to the earth. Then I told the story of the restoration of the gospel to my family in little Iola, Kansas, and the miracles involved there. What a blessing it is to have Iola in my mission! Then I talked about having a personal restoration--letting the gospel be restored to you, personally, and ultimately for us all to be restored to our loving Heavenly Father. I took a brief moment at the end to encourage everyone to spread the message of the restoration to the living, dead, inactive, and really just everyone so that we can all be restored to our Father. I ended with the words to the hymn, The Morning Breaks, which is all about the joy of the restoration.
I felt really good about my talk until I sat down and looked at the clock. I had spoken for just over twenty minutes. We sang a congregational hymn, and then the high counsel speaker took only five minutes, leaving five minutes for the stake president. Oops. I probably should have cut something, but no use fretting about it now.
After Sunday School and Relief Society, we headed back to my house for some food. Again, I was amazed by how many people came. Later we did the math, and my mom figures we fed around fifty people. If you know the women of my family at all, you know they were fed well. :)
Then it was time for everyone to leave. I hadn't thought about how hard it would be to say goodbye to my twenty closest friends all in one afternoon. I have been given the gift of weeping, if that is a gift, so when the faucet is on, it is on. I cried a lot. I was sad, but it was a happy sad. I'm doing the right thing. Knowing that gives me the strength to say goodbye and leave, trusting that I will have some friends when I get back. Some goodbyes were harder than others. One of the hardest was my best friend Erilyn, who has been my rock, my strength, my voice of reason, my safe place, my confidante, and my companion on many silly adventures. But she will write me, and this new adventure will be worth it.
What an absolutely exhausting day. I had my final stake president interview and it felt so good to be able to say without a single doubt that I know that I am worthy to go on a mission. There is no question, and that brings me peace. I am so glad.
It was such long, hard day. But it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about it. When I am having a hard day on my mission, I will just remember all of those people back at home that are supporting me, praying for me, and that love me. Their love yesterday was overwhelming, but very strengthening. Thanks to all of you. I think it will carry me through my mission. :)
After all that, it was too late to take a nap. So I tried to stay awake until ten to go to bed, but I crashed on the couch at 8:30. I stumbled to bed around 9:30, and slept until 7:30.
I really think that yesterday was the hardest day. Now I am just looking forward to Wednesday, at 12:40. It will be hard to say goodbye to my family, but at that point I won't have a chance to sit and cry like I did yesterday. They will write me, and we are sealed forever in the temple, which is a huge comfort.
I am handing over control of my blog to my sister Amy. She will publish my emails home every week, so keep checking to hear how I'm doing. Letters would be great. Rachel will put my address on my facebook account. I'm in the United States, so it really wouldn't be hard for you to write to me.
"Shall we not go on in so great a cause?"
Yes I shall!!!