God is so nice, and Satan is so mean

Dearest Family,

It is getting harder and harder to put my experience here in Missouri into words. I'm changing a lot, and sometimes that is really hard to describe. Also, my experiences are blowing my mind a little bit, and I just don't even know how to tell you about all of them.

Training is really interesting. There are parts that are just plain hard. But on the other side of the coin, Sister Lewis is ready to go. She wants to work hard and to baptize the nations. It's nice to be able to get to the end of the day and know that there was nothing more we could have done. Since she got here, together we have worked SO hard. And it is showing. Our area is starting to explode. (not with baptisms yet, but with potential). There are so many people we are trying to keep track of that we simply don't have the time to visit all of them. It's hard. And very stressful. I am trying to teach Sister Lewis the importance of the Visitors' Center, but it is hard when there are so many people to see in our area, and no people to see in the Visitors' Center. But that is our calling, and God knows what we have to do, so we just have to trust in that.

First of all, I just love Selene with my whole heart. I tell you about her every week, but I just love her so much! A lot of stuff has happened, and I just want you to pray for her. Satan is just so mean. He knows how important her decision to be baptized is, and he is just relentless. But, she told me, "I'm going to win". :) She recognizes the source of her problems, and she is so strong. But she still needs your prayers.

This week we picked up a former investigator named Nolan. He is really a spiritual seeker, but he isn't at the level to listen to what we have to say. He studied for 15 hours in preparation for our last meeting, so I hope that at some point he will believe what we have to say. Elders taught him in the past, and he didn't really connect with them. The elders disregarded Preach My Gospel's counsel to keep lessons to 45 minutes, so now he expects us to be able to stay for a long time. He told us that one time the Elders stayed for 6 HOURS. He really can talk forever. He really is a good man, though. He loves God SO much. In a way very few people do. He gets emotional just talking about it. And he wants to keep God's commandments, but he struggles and has a lot of baggage about prayer. So that is a hurdle we have to overcome. He hates anything that appears ritualistic because it appears not meaningful. The spirit was really strong in our lesson with him, though, so we'll just have to take our time with him, and do a lot of short visits. I refuse to stay six hours. We stayed 1 1/2 hours last week, and it really upset me, so we will never do that again.

Man, I have stories, but I don't know how much I can tell you. Now I am seeing that there are confidentaility issues on a mission. arg.

Well, we visited some less actives in our ward. One of them is leaving her husband for another man, and wants our support--which of course we can't give her. She's cheating on him. I'm really worried for her safety. Her husband doesn't know (well, he might know now. She left today, but I don't know what happened). When we tried to visit her last week, he told us she wasn't home. He looked everywhere but in our eyes. We left just feeling the grossness of evil. He is an alcoholic and a bad man (he's cheated on her multiple tiems). It took a while to shake the feeling I felt when I saw him. Later we found out that she was home, and he had lied to us, which was frustrating. So we didn't get to see her before she left. I just pray he didn't find out before they left because there are two guns in that house. They are both violent people. I guess I don't know how much of that I should have said. It's hard because I have other stories like that that I guess I can't talk about. I think she would be okay with me telling you. She's pretty open about things.

On the other hand, we have seen a ton of miracles this week. One of them is Catalana. She's a referral that we got a while back, but she's been avoiding our calls and we don't have her address. So I called her from the VC phone so that she wouldn't recognize the number. We started talking, and it turns out that she is already attending our church! She's going to the ward that meets before ours. She loves the ward. She told me that the first time she walked into the building she immediately felt warmth and felt like she was coming home. There was no one around but she heard a whisper, "welcome home". She told me that she knows the church is true, she loves the Book of Mormon (Mosiah in particular) she knows that Joseph Smith is a prophet, she knows that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, she knows her bishop is called of God, and she does want to be baptized someday. It's something she wants. She even said that now that she knows that this is the one true church, she is just looking for ways to share this message with others. I was in shock. It was a good thing she couldn't see my face, but Sister Lewis could, and she was really curious what was going on. We just need to get her address, and show her that 1) she needs to go to the right ward, and 2) she has to meet with missionaries before she can be baptized. It was crazy. I almost feel like it was a prank call, but I sure hope not. I'll let you know. The elders serving in the ward she's attending are completely oblivious. They don't know who she is, but she knew their names. I guess maybe she wasn't avoiding our phone calls. I don't know. She's a mystery to me. I'll let you know how our first meeting goes.

The first time Sisiter Lewis got to teach the first lesson was to a woman named Muriel this week. It was hilarious. This woman is Lutheran, and she let us come back because we had a message about Christ. She lives with her grandmother who is 95. They were really sweet to us and very hospitible. Then we shared the first lesson with them. Starting at the Great Apostacy and increasing as we went, Muriel looked very concerned. Her eyebrows moved closer and closer together. Then she started playing with her hair. She's black, so her hair got bigger and bigger the further we went in the lesson. She also got very quiet. Sister Lewis was supposed to invite her to baptism, but when we invited her to read the Book of Mormon she told us she didn't know why she would because she's very satisfied with her religion. She looked tense all over. Those crazy Mormons. :) I finally gave her a break and said, "well, thank you for letting us come over and talk to you." She shot up out of her chair and half ran to to get our coats to get us out of the door. We left, and I had a silent chuckle as we walked down her sidewalk. *shrug* Oh, well. At least she was nice about it.

We also taught a woman named Susan this week. She was a lot like Nolan and Selene in that she is a very spiritual person. Right now she is just looking for information (even took notes), but she is kind, and in our discussion she shared what she believed, which in general matched what we believe very well. She's an artist and even gave us a print called "Pearl of Great Price" as a gift. She was very nice. I'm excited for our next lesson with her. Her husband is coming.

Then we taught a referral we recieved from the APs this week. Her name is Marcella. She is a single mom of two kids, Mckayla (11) and Steven (2). Marcella is unemployed and has no car, but works for cash sometimes. Mckayla has ADHD, and as a result has some behavior problems. She gets in trouble a lot. Marcella and her kids used to go to a Baptist church, but then the preacher said that anyone not Baptist would go to hell. That rubbed her the wrong way and she left. She's looking for a church for her family. She was very nice.

First, let me set the stage for our first lesson with her. She lives in a little duplex, and as we walked in, we noticed the stale smokey air, and the dirty dinginess of the apartment. Her son is playing with all of the bugs he can find in the apartment. On the couch laid a man, obviously passed out. He stayed there, unconscious through the whole lesson. He was "just a friend", so we squeezed onto the chair together and Marcella sat on the ottoman. Mckayla has some anger problems as she is waiting for her medicine to kick in, so we have some kid fighting in the background.

Okay, do you have this all visualized? Can you see the tears in the couches and the smudges on the wall above the drunk man? Can you smell the smoke and dirty people and food smell? Can you hear the angry daughter in the background? Squeeze in next to your companion on a chair, and look toward Marcellla in front of you, sitting on the edge of the Ottoman.

Okay. What comes next is a miracle.

We taught her the whole first lesson. It was perfect. She listened and understood everything we said. She agreed to read the Book of Mormon, and is excited to come to church next week. She's glad that our church is for families, because that is what she is looking for. She said that everything we taught sounded true, but she's glad that she can know for herself if it is true or not. She's excited that her daughter has young womens, and "will they teach Steven about God in nursery?"

We invited her to read the Book of Mormon, and to come to church, and to pray. We set up our next appointment. It was so good! What a perfect lesson.

Then Sister Lewis said, "I have one more question for you." I was like, what? What question? After the kids stop screaming, she proceeded to explain what baptism is. I can see where she's going. I'm so proud! Look at my trainee go! And Marcella said yes. She agreed to be baptized. :D on the first lesson!

Sister Lewis turned and looked at me, her eyes wide like, "wow. Now what?" So I piped up and scheduled a date. February 25th. She said yes. She wants McKayla to get baptized, too. :)

We walked away in awe. Did that just happen? Picture perfect lesson? Set a baptismal date in the first lesson like we are supposed to? Sister Lewis took the lead in inviting like she's supposed to? Wow. Miracle. wahoo!! I love referrals! I love being a missionary!

So it has been a good week. Ups and downs, but overall progress.

It's been a bit rainy, but I've gotten to wear my cloche, which makes me very happy.

We have also seen miracles where I had no idea where I was and just happened to take the right exit to get to our appointment on time. Three times in different places.

So overall, I would say, being a missionary is the hardest best thing ever.

I love you all. :)

~Sister Atkin

 

P.S. I'm studying temperance this week. I dunno why, but it's pretty cool, and I think it is something I will focus on.

 

P. P. S. Don't hate me. I did something bad last week. I bought some red shoes at Kohl's. They were on sale, and they are so comfy and so cute and I will wear them my whole mission. I guess that means that you don't have to buy me any birthday gifts. Because I already bought red shoes. They go with everything. :)

 

P. P. S. Don't forget to pray for Selene. And if you have any really good scriptures to help Selene face adversity and get over it by relying on Christ, let me know.