oh, that just reminded me of a quick funny story before I really begin this email. We went and taught a less active this week that is turning her life around (she's come three weeks in a row!). She really is a cool lady that's been through a lot. She's trying to break a chain of abuse, which is harder than it sounds. I knew her mother abused (neglected, more than anything) her, but then we got to hear about her grandmother and her great-grandmother. They have all been abused and then abusive. It's so sad.
But anyway, we were chattin' it up with her, and I started to tell her a story about something that had happened in the Kansas City part of our area. She stopped me and said, "hey, you just said that right! Kansas City. Like a local." We all laughed, but I left actually really pleased with myself. Maybe when I get home I'll be able to speak ghetto talk. :) I'm getting parts of it down. Visiting her and talking to her definitely helped. Sisiter Lewis says that sometimes I accidentally say something really ghetto. Whodah-thunk. this white chick? no. haha.
Can I confess something? It's getting harder and harder to want to email and keep my journal. I was so good at my journal before! but since Sister Lewis got here, I haven't been able to find the time or the desire to stop and write. I guess it's because I feel like I'm going to be here forever. Or maybe it's because I don't feel like missing a second. I dunno. I'm working on it.
The most exciting news of the week is the text we got from Selene last night. It said, "How do you both feel about a baptism for me on Sat?" The date we had set last week was for March 24th for a few reasons, but I guess not. :D SELENE IS GETTING BAPTIZED ON SATURDAY!!!! I'm just so excited. Last night I just cried. I was so happy and so grateful that everything has fallen into place. It's like she had to go through all of that, and the Lord is finally cutting all of us a break by making it possible for everything to happen quickly -- finally. It's taken three transfers, but I don't even care because she is my first baptism, which is exactly how I would want it to be. So yeah. The prayers are all paying off. Thanks for your prayers, too. :D
We went to see Marcella this weekend (the one we set with a date on our first lesson). After we knocked we heard the lock click. A minute later we heard her telling her son to be quiet. So that was a bit of a bummer, but I'm more stubborn than that. We're going back. She's going to have to say no to my face. Well, until the spirit tells me to not go back.
We had some other good lessons this week, but nothing totally new. I don't even know what to say anymore. Sorry mom, I know you are disappointed.
Remember Nolan? The older gentleman that studies for 15 hours for our appointments with him (reading the assignment 6 times) and then brings typed notes? well, he's the same as ever. He knows that he should be praying--all of his studies tell him that he should pray, but he figures that he's getting something out of his studies without praying, so he doesn't need it. But obviously that's not true, because what he's getting out of his studies is that he should pray. It's really contradictory if you think about it.
So we went to a lesson with him, and I just found myself saying some stuff that didn't come from me. It was really bold. I basically called him out. and then invited him to baptism. I was so shocked with myself that I didn't know what to do next when he avoided the question. So then Sister Lewis said, "Nolan, you didn't answer Sister Atkin's question." He still avoided it, but I could see him thinking. I think he needs us to be bold. So here we go. We need to be loving, too, of course.
We also taught Ryan and Ashley. Ashley is a member, but has been inactive for years. She just wants her husband to know more about what she grew up with, and the kind of stuff they will be teaching their baby boy that is due next month. She says she believes "some of it", but feels like she'll be limiting her horizons to pin down what she actually believes. She told us she remembers feeling like a daughter of God in Young Women's, but it has been long time, and that isn't important to her anymore.
So this time we taught them about the importance of religion in the family, and the way we approached it was by teaching them/reading together about the stripling warriors--"their mother's knew it". We talked a lot, so I worried about how the lesson went. At the end Sister Lewis asked them what they thought about what we were teaching. They both said (Ryan first) that they liked how we actually got into the scriptures and into the meat of the gospel. That the other missionaries that had visited them in the past were nice, but that we were different, and that this was what they really wanted to hear from us. It was exciting. I could see Ashley soften a little. She said she's been pushing this off for a while because she didn't know if it was what she believed just because it was what she had been taught her whole life or if it was actually something she believed. But we challenged her to experiment upon our words and she seemed sincere saying that she would--she felt like it was time. Her husband was a little more closed off, but we'll see. He says he's a happy-go-lucky guy, but then he defiantly keeps his head up and his eyes open when we pray, which doesn't feel very easy going to me. whatev. We'll figure it out.
As far as companionship goes, things are getting better and better. I've been working on just being open and communicating about everying, and it has really helped. I tell her about things I'm struggling with, and it makes it easier for us to be close. Sister Lewis is just sooo good all of the time, that at first it was hard to open up and admit that I'm struggling with anything, because I know that she never will. She wants so badly to be perfect that she won't say or do anything that might appear selfish or imperfect. It makes it hard to approach her sometimes, but we are talking about it, and it's wonderful. Maybe someday she'll tell me something that is hard for her. In the mean time, I'm helping her not kill herself in pursuit of perfection (like telling her that to be obedient, she can't fast all the time. It's in the white handbook). We are all striving to be perfect, but it will come line upon line, and not all at once. It's okay to be not perfect. She can still need stuff and people. That's okay. I think the Lord put me with her, because I understand a bit more where she's coming from on the perfectionism thing than a lot of people would, and I've been there, so I know how to help her a bit. (don't laugh, I know that I'm not that perfect, but I do understand her). And I also want you to know that I love Sister Lewis. She is a wonderful missionary, and will probably be a leader someday in the mission (a VC trainer sister) or something. She has the skills and the drive. She really is an amazing missionary. I often feel very inadequate next to her, but I am doing my best, and I do have things to teach her, so I am not totally useless as a trainer, although I feel it sometimes.
I also feel like I learned a ton this week. I finished Matthew in my quest to reread the New Testament, so that's going well. I remembered the reasons I teach (Alma 16:17--it's really a five step process). Also, I just love Alma and Amulek. So cool.
We got this email from President Keyes this week:
"I am pleased to announce that our visiting General Authority for our upcoming mission tour on March 12th and 13th will be Elder David F. Evans. Elder Evans is a member of the First quorum of the Seventy and the Executive Director of the missionary department. In preparation for this conference he has ask us as a mission to study Alma chapters 17 through chapters 42. He would like us to study them with the following questions in mind. What can I learn as a missionary about, Finding, Teaching, Obtaining Referrals, Teaching with Power and Authority and how to determine if we are using the correct amount of Boldness in our mission labors. Also there are several other principles about missionary work that he would like you to learn and discover as you study these important missionary chapters. I know you will be blessed individually and we will be blessed as a mission as we come to better understand our roles as missionaries."
I'm excited about that. So if you wanted, you could study along with me. Or you could just wait and hear about the cool stuff I'm learning.
I love all of you!
~Sister April Atkin