God is so nice, and Satan is so mean

Dearest Family,

It is getting harder and harder to put my experience here in Missouri into words. I'm changing a lot, and sometimes that is really hard to describe. Also, my experiences are blowing my mind a little bit, and I just don't even know how to tell you about all of them.

Training is really interesting. There are parts that are just plain hard. But on the other side of the coin, Sister Lewis is ready to go. She wants to work hard and to baptize the nations. It's nice to be able to get to the end of the day and know that there was nothing more we could have done. Since she got here, together we have worked SO hard. And it is showing. Our area is starting to explode. (not with baptisms yet, but with potential). There are so many people we are trying to keep track of that we simply don't have the time to visit all of them. It's hard. And very stressful. I am trying to teach Sister Lewis the importance of the Visitors' Center, but it is hard when there are so many people to see in our area, and no people to see in the Visitors' Center. But that is our calling, and God knows what we have to do, so we just have to trust in that.

First of all, I just love Selene with my whole heart. I tell you about her every week, but I just love her so much! A lot of stuff has happened, and I just want you to pray for her. Satan is just so mean. He knows how important her decision to be baptized is, and he is just relentless. But, she told me, "I'm going to win". :) She recognizes the source of her problems, and she is so strong. But she still needs your prayers.

This week we picked up a former investigator named Nolan. He is really a spiritual seeker, but he isn't at the level to listen to what we have to say. He studied for 15 hours in preparation for our last meeting, so I hope that at some point he will believe what we have to say. Elders taught him in the past, and he didn't really connect with them. The elders disregarded Preach My Gospel's counsel to keep lessons to 45 minutes, so now he expects us to be able to stay for a long time. He told us that one time the Elders stayed for 6 HOURS. He really can talk forever. He really is a good man, though. He loves God SO much. In a way very few people do. He gets emotional just talking about it. And he wants to keep God's commandments, but he struggles and has a lot of baggage about prayer. So that is a hurdle we have to overcome. He hates anything that appears ritualistic because it appears not meaningful. The spirit was really strong in our lesson with him, though, so we'll just have to take our time with him, and do a lot of short visits. I refuse to stay six hours. We stayed 1 1/2 hours last week, and it really upset me, so we will never do that again.

Man, I have stories, but I don't know how much I can tell you. Now I am seeing that there are confidentaility issues on a mission. arg.

Well, we visited some less actives in our ward. One of them is leaving her husband for another man, and wants our support--which of course we can't give her. She's cheating on him. I'm really worried for her safety. Her husband doesn't know (well, he might know now. She left today, but I don't know what happened). When we tried to visit her last week, he told us she wasn't home. He looked everywhere but in our eyes. We left just feeling the grossness of evil. He is an alcoholic and a bad man (he's cheated on her multiple tiems). It took a while to shake the feeling I felt when I saw him. Later we found out that she was home, and he had lied to us, which was frustrating. So we didn't get to see her before she left. I just pray he didn't find out before they left because there are two guns in that house. They are both violent people. I guess I don't know how much of that I should have said. It's hard because I have other stories like that that I guess I can't talk about. I think she would be okay with me telling you. She's pretty open about things.

On the other hand, we have seen a ton of miracles this week. One of them is Catalana. She's a referral that we got a while back, but she's been avoiding our calls and we don't have her address. So I called her from the VC phone so that she wouldn't recognize the number. We started talking, and it turns out that she is already attending our church! She's going to the ward that meets before ours. She loves the ward. She told me that the first time she walked into the building she immediately felt warmth and felt like she was coming home. There was no one around but she heard a whisper, "welcome home". She told me that she knows the church is true, she loves the Book of Mormon (Mosiah in particular) she knows that Joseph Smith is a prophet, she knows that Thomas S. Monson is a prophet, she knows her bishop is called of God, and she does want to be baptized someday. It's something she wants. She even said that now that she knows that this is the one true church, she is just looking for ways to share this message with others. I was in shock. It was a good thing she couldn't see my face, but Sister Lewis could, and she was really curious what was going on. We just need to get her address, and show her that 1) she needs to go to the right ward, and 2) she has to meet with missionaries before she can be baptized. It was crazy. I almost feel like it was a prank call, but I sure hope not. I'll let you know. The elders serving in the ward she's attending are completely oblivious. They don't know who she is, but she knew their names. I guess maybe she wasn't avoiding our phone calls. I don't know. She's a mystery to me. I'll let you know how our first meeting goes.

The first time Sisiter Lewis got to teach the first lesson was to a woman named Muriel this week. It was hilarious. This woman is Lutheran, and she let us come back because we had a message about Christ. She lives with her grandmother who is 95. They were really sweet to us and very hospitible. Then we shared the first lesson with them. Starting at the Great Apostacy and increasing as we went, Muriel looked very concerned. Her eyebrows moved closer and closer together. Then she started playing with her hair. She's black, so her hair got bigger and bigger the further we went in the lesson. She also got very quiet. Sister Lewis was supposed to invite her to baptism, but when we invited her to read the Book of Mormon she told us she didn't know why she would because she's very satisfied with her religion. She looked tense all over. Those crazy Mormons. :) I finally gave her a break and said, "well, thank you for letting us come over and talk to you." She shot up out of her chair and half ran to to get our coats to get us out of the door. We left, and I had a silent chuckle as we walked down her sidewalk. *shrug* Oh, well. At least she was nice about it.

We also taught a woman named Susan this week. She was a lot like Nolan and Selene in that she is a very spiritual person. Right now she is just looking for information (even took notes), but she is kind, and in our discussion she shared what she believed, which in general matched what we believe very well. She's an artist and even gave us a print called "Pearl of Great Price" as a gift. She was very nice. I'm excited for our next lesson with her. Her husband is coming.

Then we taught a referral we recieved from the APs this week. Her name is Marcella. She is a single mom of two kids, Mckayla (11) and Steven (2). Marcella is unemployed and has no car, but works for cash sometimes. Mckayla has ADHD, and as a result has some behavior problems. She gets in trouble a lot. Marcella and her kids used to go to a Baptist church, but then the preacher said that anyone not Baptist would go to hell. That rubbed her the wrong way and she left. She's looking for a church for her family. She was very nice.

First, let me set the stage for our first lesson with her. She lives in a little duplex, and as we walked in, we noticed the stale smokey air, and the dirty dinginess of the apartment. Her son is playing with all of the bugs he can find in the apartment. On the couch laid a man, obviously passed out. He stayed there, unconscious through the whole lesson. He was "just a friend", so we squeezed onto the chair together and Marcella sat on the ottoman. Mckayla has some anger problems as she is waiting for her medicine to kick in, so we have some kid fighting in the background.

Okay, do you have this all visualized? Can you see the tears in the couches and the smudges on the wall above the drunk man? Can you smell the smoke and dirty people and food smell? Can you hear the angry daughter in the background? Squeeze in next to your companion on a chair, and look toward Marcellla in front of you, sitting on the edge of the Ottoman.

Okay. What comes next is a miracle.

We taught her the whole first lesson. It was perfect. She listened and understood everything we said. She agreed to read the Book of Mormon, and is excited to come to church next week. She's glad that our church is for families, because that is what she is looking for. She said that everything we taught sounded true, but she's glad that she can know for herself if it is true or not. She's excited that her daughter has young womens, and "will they teach Steven about God in nursery?"

We invited her to read the Book of Mormon, and to come to church, and to pray. We set up our next appointment. It was so good! What a perfect lesson.

Then Sister Lewis said, "I have one more question for you." I was like, what? What question? After the kids stop screaming, she proceeded to explain what baptism is. I can see where she's going. I'm so proud! Look at my trainee go! And Marcella said yes. She agreed to be baptized. :D on the first lesson!

Sister Lewis turned and looked at me, her eyes wide like, "wow. Now what?" So I piped up and scheduled a date. February 25th. She said yes. She wants McKayla to get baptized, too. :)

We walked away in awe. Did that just happen? Picture perfect lesson? Set a baptismal date in the first lesson like we are supposed to? Sister Lewis took the lead in inviting like she's supposed to? Wow. Miracle. wahoo!! I love referrals! I love being a missionary!

So it has been a good week. Ups and downs, but overall progress.

It's been a bit rainy, but I've gotten to wear my cloche, which makes me very happy.

We have also seen miracles where I had no idea where I was and just happened to take the right exit to get to our appointment on time. Three times in different places.

So overall, I would say, being a missionary is the hardest best thing ever.

I love you all. :)

~Sister Atkin

 

P.S. I'm studying temperance this week. I dunno why, but it's pretty cool, and I think it is something I will focus on.

 

P. P. S. Don't hate me. I did something bad last week. I bought some red shoes at Kohl's. They were on sale, and they are so comfy and so cute and I will wear them my whole mission. I guess that means that you don't have to buy me any birthday gifts. Because I already bought red shoes. They go with everything. :)

 

P. P. S. Don't forget to pray for Selene. And if you have any really good scriptures to help Selene face adversity and get over it by relying on Christ, let me know.

Living the Life

Dearest Family,

I don't know if I will be able to write about everything I want to say! But I will try! First of all, I want you to know I am very happy. :) I feel like I worked harder this last week than I have in my entire life/mission, and it was wonderful, even if our numbers don't really show anything. That's how it goes. Willie can attest to that. There were a couple of points where my soul was tired, but that was for a moment, and I am feeling wonderful today. It is in the 60s, and I don't even need a jacket. I'm feeling the humidity today, and I like it. It is a beautiful day here.

For the openhouse, I'm super excited to be the happy face at the end by the cookies. But we don't get to go to the actual dedication or the cultural event. I don't mind. There are more productive things we could do.

A reminder about Selene. One night she and her boyfriend came on tour at the VC. I took them, and it was a wonderful tour. I really felt the spirit, and I really felt a love for them both. At the end she didn't feel ready for missionaries yet, so I just let them walk out the doors. She had read through most of Alma by that point. Then we got a text referral a couple of weeks later. We called and set up the first appointment, and when we showed up, it was her! My mouth literally dropped open, and all I could do was say "Wow!" and hug her. I already had taught her the first lesson! Since then she's progressed quickly. I feel like I'm learning so much from her. She really understands the gospel. I just love her so much. We're not sure when she will be baptized, but I know she will be baptized. She knows it is true. We've had so many miracle lessons with her! I know I've written home about her a lot, so you'll have to look it up again. You could send her a journal if you wanted. That would be cute. :)

Mom, way to go being a missionary on pinterest! That's awesome! It is totally addicting, but I'm glad you are making it worthwhile.

You can share any of my spiritual thoughts you want, mom. I'm glad you liked it. :)

Okay. About this week. Wow.

Well, first of all, Sister Lewis and I are really clicking. It took a little time, as always, and we really are different, but I love her. The other night our planning took an hour because we had a very important conversation. I knew that there was something that I needed to say, but I didn't know how to say it, so I started talking, then I paused, then I started talking. I didn't even really know what it was that I needed to say. But then it came out. I said stuff that I didn't even know I thought, and it made sense, and it was perfect. So what I finally pieced together is that Sister Lewis and I feel the spirit differently, and it has led to some frustration. Sometimes we are doing something and she will say, "Can we stop and listen for a minute?" Or "Do you feel peace about that?" and I look at her like she's crazy because honestly, I don't feel anything. "Sure we can pause for a minute if it will help you, but I think you are crazy." is what I was thinking. And she would ask me every hour or so if I felt peace about something. But I didn't feel like I was feeling anything! One night in our area I got really frustrated with myself and with her because I didn't know what the spirit was telling us to do next because I didn't feel a thing!

And now, as I thought about it, I realized it was because I was trying to feel the spirit in the way Sister Lewis feels it. To me, promptings from the spirit come in the form of ideas and thoughts more often than anything (at least as a missionary). So I'll be doing something and get the idea to go do something else, and a miracle happens. But pausing to see if I feel peace about it doesn't help. I just act. I get ideas and thoughts and I go and hit the road and work hard. I just go. And miracles happen. And that is how the spirit works in me.

So we talked about it. It never had even occured to Sister Lewis that I didn't feel the spirit the same way that she does. And I hadn't really realized why it bugged me so much when she asked if I felt peace about something. I do get peace from the spirit sometimes, but that happens when I need a strong prompting, not for normal stuff. "The Lord won't use a floodnight when a flashlight it sufficient". He knows I don't need those feelings to act on it, so I don't get them. Sister Lewis is very sensitive to the spirit, and those feelings are quiet to her, but that's how she works.

Anyway, that is something very important that we learned this week. I think it will help us be more effective as a companionship, and I won't be looking at her like she's crazy as much. :)

Remember how last week we street contacted this awesome crazy family? Well, our appointment with them was on Saturday. We called the single's branch's ward mission leader for a young, single, male team up. After we hung up we realized two things 1) we had called a young, single guy that lived outside of our area, which is a no-no and 2) wow, this is potentially very awkward. So I worried about it. We called our District Leader, and he gave us permission, so it's all good, and it is all for the investigator, so we hoped it wouldn't be awkward.

Well, we showed up to our appointment. The guy we called met us there. He's 27 and little awkward in general, which made me glad. He wasn't distracted by the fact that we are sisters, so it's all good. We knocked the door and a woman answered the door. We asked if Alan and Steve lived there, and she told us that no one by that name lived there. I could tell by her face that she was telling the truth. But the car they had been changing the oil in was sitting in the driveway. She was considering saying goodbye and closing the door on us. We almost lost her.

But then Sister Lewis asked her if anyone by these physical descriptions lived there. "Oh, you mean Casey and Bill. Casey is here all the time, but he doesn't live here. Bill lives here." SO, it turns out that they had lied to us about their names. That's cool.

We brought up the fact that we know her son's best friend Cam (he's a member of our ward). So we started chatting with her, and she let us in! Phew. We almost lost her! So we actually stayed at her house for an hour, just chatting. I was hoping to get a lesson in, but...that didn't happen. Our team up had no problem jumping in and talking over the missionaries, so we didn't get to talk much. We asked if Cam had told her anything about what we believed. She brought up the fact that we don't use birth control and don't drink caffeine. I started to explain, but then our team up quickly rode right over me and started saying some slightly weird stuff. What he said made sense to me, but I knew he was just confusing her. But he was loud. So I didn't know what to do. We also found out that Casey is only 16, so we didn't need to bring a single's ward team up.

BUT it turned out to be a miracle. This woman (her name is Franchesca), has a daughter with special needs. She and Bill have wanted to be married for over 2 years, and bought a dress and everything, but then found out that if they got married, she would lose a lot of the help she needed to help pay for her daughter's expenses. As a married couple, the finances would be bad. Really, they honestly couldn't afford to get married. The team up we brought just happens to own a business with his mother that helps people get more financial help from the government to help with their special needs children. He said he knew a way to not only make it so being married wouldn't affect the help they recieved, but also that they could be getting more help than they were currently getting. It was perfect. They needed to meet him. And now with the option of being married, that is an obstical out of the way of getting baptized (that they don't even know about yet). So even if our team up was sometimes overbearing, he was a miracle.

We did get to talk about religion with them. We had already built a bit of a friendship, so she had no problem opening up and telling us more about what she believes. We talked about our church too. It was relaxed and non-pressure. We asked if we could come back and talk to her more about her son's best friend's religion. She agreed, as long as Cam came along. Of course! So it was a miracle. I really love Franchesca and Bill already. They are such good people! Franchesca already has a lot of light and love in her face, and she's open to hearing what we have to say, even though she's not really looking for a new religion. We just need to help them feel the spirit. Pray for our appointment this Thursday!

Franchesca's son is the star player for our ward's young men's basketball team, so the ward was happy to hear that his family was getting taught (even though we had no idea! We had just tracted into them!), because it meant that he might be able to play more in the future. Hopefully we can get the Young Men's president's motivations straightened out. :)

What a miracle!

The other thing that happened this week is that we found a ton of people to invite to church! I don't have time to tell you about all of them, but we invited three families to church, all headed by single moms. We were really excited because we had worked really hard for those invites and we really felt like two of them were promising. I've never prayed so hard for someone to come to church in my life. One of those moms had 8 kids between 4 and 19 (I'll try to remember to tell you more about her next week), so we called the young women president and primary president to warn them that there might be extra kids.

In the end, none of them showed up. :(((( (I don't know of that is double chins or not, but it is showing how disappointed we were). One said "my son has a nose bleed, so we're going to our church this week." WOW. Maybe you should think of a good excuse next time.

But, the Lord knows how hard we worked to get those people to work, so he sent us some miracles. Two extremely less actives came to church. One of them hasn't been to church for probably 6 months. She called us and said, "I woke up this morning and decided I wanted to go to church today. What time does it start?" The other one has come before, but is actually progressing in her battle to quit smoking. It is like the Lord is showing us that this is really His work. He's in charge of it, so if anything happens it is from Him, not from us. We worked hard, so He blessed us, but in His way, and clearly by His hand. We'll take it.

Anyway, moral of the story is, I am super happy. I can't even imagine doing anything else right now. I am very happy to be a missionary. Thank you so much for helping me be here! You are amazing!!!

I love you all

"have a blessed day, everybody"

Sister April Atkin

First Week Training

Dearest Family,

This week has been very different. I don't even know how to describe it. You haven't responded to last weeks email, but I'm sure you will soon. So you know that I'm training now. Like I said last time, her name is Sister Lewis from Highland, Utah. She is excited about being a missionary, which is good. Training is an entirely different experience. Now that I'm actually doing it, it is very different than I expected. Being a trainer is all about finding balance. I'm trying to balance telling her too much, or telling her too little. Taking the lead too much, or taking the lead too little. Letting her try her new ideas, while letting her see how it is done. Showing her that missionary work is not simple or easy, but also that it is wonderful to help her keep her fire alive. I'm gaining a new perspective and appreciation for Sister Dodd because balancing isn't easy. Honestly, this has been a really hard week, although it has been a really good one, too. I just am starting to feel the weight of carrying the load of an area on my own. Sister Lewis is all about being a unified companionship, but for now, she doesn't know everyone and their needs, so it all depends on me. I have to remember the long list of people to take care of. I've made some mistakes, but we've made some progress, too. I'm learning how to discern when I need to speak up and correct her and when I just should stay quiet. It's hard. Parts of my soul are getting tired, but it's P day so I get to bake and write letters and maybe take a nap. It's all good. :)

Happy story. Remember how I have had several miracle tours at the VC? Well, they ask us to type those up to send them to Salt Lake (our boss) to let them know what is happening at the visitors' center. I am pretty good at remembering to do it, so recently they have heard mostly from me.  Sister Adams (the VC's director's wife), got back an email that said, "Thank you for sending these on to us! They are what our jobs are all about. Just so you are aware, we often share these stories with the missionaries we are training and the Brethren." Wow!!! The Brethren? They may have read my experiences? Recognition isn't important, but it feels good to show the church that we are doing good work out here. I'm glad that they got to hear my stories. :)

Selene is wonderful. I love her. That's all. :) She's so amazing!! She just gets the gospel in a way that many members don't. I've seen a change in her countenance recently--she glows. There is a light in her, and she looks happier. The gospel really does change lives. Even for people that are pretty stable by everyone else's standards. There is a change in Selene and it is beautiful.

We had several miracles this week. On Sunday we were running a little late, and when we went out to our car, we discovered that I had left on the lights and killed the battery (sound familiar, dad? I tried so hard to break that habit!). Right in our moment of dismay, Sister Lewis noticed a man getting out of his car. She yelled over, "Sir? Do you have jumper cables?" Within five minutes he had pulled up, jumped our car, and we were good to go. We ran into the chapel just as one of the bishopric stood up to start the meeting. We weren't even late! It was a huge miracle!!

We taught Immaculate from Cameroon, and it was really good. We left late, so we were going to be late to our dinner. As we were walking down her sidewalk, her next door neighbors waved just to say hi. I waved back and kept walking to the car. I paused. Looked at them. Looked at my watch. Looked at them. Looked at Sister Lewis. We both knew we needed to talk to them. So we walked over, knowing we were late. They were working on their car, and Sister Lewis just naturally started a conversation about their car. She has a real talent for street contacting, we discovered. They were really friendly. It was a man and his step-son's best friend. I've seen the boy before because we have visited Immaculate on Sundays, and usually there is a game of street ball going on. This neighborhood is a little ghetto, but it is a really tight community. The young boys all play street ball, and it was clear pretty quickly that this particular house was home to a family made up of random people not related to each other. An old lady leaned out the door yelling, "How much medicine does grandma need for her back?" I thought she would have been the grandma, but I guess she was just the scrawny, grouchy lady that cooks and takes care of everyone in the house. I know she's not married to the man, and probably isn't related to the step-son's best friend either. maybe not even to grandma. Anyway, it was just a cool dynamic family.

We chatted about their car for a bit, then I brought up the fact that we were missionaries for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I asked if they were religious. The boy (keep in mind, he's probably my age), said, "Well, I'm athiest." The man under the car said, "No he's not. He's lyin' to ya." So we started up a discussion about how he had never seen God's hands in his life. The man under the car (I never saw his face, actually) asked, "Hey, are you guys Mormon?" Turns out, they are good friends with a boy down the street that is mormon. He plays street ball with them. "He's a good kid. He's over here all the time." I know who he is, and his family is really good, but he intentionally sleeps through sacrament every week, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't stay for the rest of church. But cool that they had a positive connection with the church. They said that we could come back any time, but we set up a specific appointment anyway. We're going to try to get a young guy team up for that appointment. someone who plays basketball.

It was a miracle conversation. It was pretty cool. It all happened because we were able to start a relaxed conversation with them. If we had just walked up and immediately started talking about the church, they would have totally blown us off. But because we noticed where they were in life, and listened, we got a return appointment. It was cool.

So life is good. I love being a missionary, even though I feel it using every part of me. It's a whole soul workout, you could say. I'm upping my soul strength. The biggest thing I'm working on this week is descovering the different between stubborness and determination to do good. I've been toeing that line this week, and it's something I really could be doing better at.

I love you!

Have a wonderful week!

Your happy Sisiter Missionary,

Sister Atkin

Training? Okay!

Dear Family!!!

First of all, today is the first day of the new transfer and...I'm training! Crazy, huh? I just finished the 12 week program to be trained last week, and now I'm starting it all over again with a new sister. Somehow I just felt it coming. Then we got the call from the APs last week, and it was official. I wasn't nervous at all.

Then I was talking to one of the sisters and she told me how she had a special experience how she knew that she was training and which sister she was training just by reading her name in the Harvester (our mission newsletter). So she told me to go read the names of the new sisters and see if any of them stood out to me. So I did. And I didn't get a burning bosom experience, but I thought, "you know, I think I'll train Sister Lewis". It sounded just like the rest of my thoughts, but I went with it and joked around with the other sisters that I thought I knew who I was training. Then the phone call came to tell me who I was training, and guess what? I'm training Sisiter Lewis! As soon as I knew her name for sure, I got a littler nervous. But now I've met her, and it's gonna be good.

She's from Highland, and she's really excited to go and work hard. She's tall and blond (Another one?? haha, jk. She is beautiful, though. I'll send you a picture in the mail). It's crazy because Sister Dodd is gone :(, but I am excited for this next transfer. It will be a good one.

Sister Dodd got transferred to Hutchinson, Kansas. She's excited to serve full pros again, but I really will miss her. She's amazing!!! I'm really sad that she had to leave. But that is mission life.

The other exciting thing that happened this week was a text we got from Selene. It said, "Sisters, the last of my concerns were laid to rest last night. I have peace and am ready to be baptized on February 25 or thereafter." YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! I literally grinned until my eyes were squeezed shut and jumped up and down. I am so happy for her! She's aiming for February 25, which is a long time away, but we'll do it. We'll work towards  it. I'm so happy I can't even tell you!!! "My heart is full of happiness," she said. :D I love her so much and I know this will make her so happy! She will be my first baptism, and I hope to be friends with her forever. I could explode with happiness!

So my week has been crazy, but so good! I'm still growing so much and having the best experiences ever, even though it is really hard. I can't imagine having not gone on a mission. I would be a totally different person! I'm soooo grateful that I got to do this! Thank you for helping me be out here! I know that by supporting me on my mission you are gaining some of the blessings, too. You are a huge part of my mission. Thank you!!

By the way, Selene has the LDS app downloaded on her phone, so she has everything. No worries there. Didn't I tell you that she's been studying Preach My Gospel? Yep. She worried that we were jipping her on the lessons, so she went and studied them herself. She reads the ensign, and they gave her a relief society manual in church on Sunday. We had dinner with her at the Bishop's house and it went wonderfully.

As for sending me stuff for my other investigators, it's okay. The mission office has pretty much everything. Just know that I spent a little money this week to buy a Book of Mormon stories book for one of our investigators. I don't think she knows that we have to buy that kind of thing to give it to her, but that's okay. We won't tell her.

Lyric keeps canceling appointments with us. She still loves us, but I think that she's fizzled out. It makes me super sad, but that's mission life for you.

Really I don't have any stories this week that I want to share beyond those ones. We talked to some crazies, and a less active tried to get our approval for her to be cheating on her husband, but nothing that I probably should email home about. Sorry.

So I'm going to tell you about some of the stuff I've learned this week.

First of all, I was rereading 2 Nephi 4 (Nephi's Psalm), and I noticed that Nephi, when he is lamenting about being a sinner, his main sins are getting mad at his brothers and feeling bad for himself because of his afflictions. And I had a moment where I realized that I have a lot in common with Nephi. I was born of goodly parents (even my patriarchal blessing talks about that), and I've really always know the truth. I always try to do the right thing, and I love the gospel. My biggest fault is that I get frustrated with others easily. I set high expectations for myself, then I expect others to live up to them, too. And when others don't live as well as I think they are capable of, I get frustrated with them. Nephi totally did that with his brothers. He was supposed to be their ruler and teacher, and really, I know that one of my gifts is leading and teaching, but he got "angry because of his enemy". I do the same thing. So I just need to learn to have Nephi's attitude of relying on the Lord. Because that is how he overcomes his weaknesses. He trusts in the Lord.

The second thing I learned was from the Isaiah chapters of 2 Nephi. I usually have a hard time with those, just like everyone, but this time a verse jumped out at me. I don't know if I am misinterpreting it, but what I learned from it is still true. It is from 2 Nephi 8:9. It says. "Awake, awake! Put on strenth, O arm of the Lord; awake as in the ancient daysl Art thou not he that hath cut Rahab, and wounded the dragon?" And what I read that to mean was, wake up! Remember who you are! Remember -- you were one of the people who fought against Satan in the War in Heaven! We beat him there, and we can win again! We've already been in the armies to fight against him and defeat him! Remember what you have already done! You can do it again! We were part of the great armies on Christ's side in Heaven. We were the noble and great ones--and we still are! It was a good pep talk.

I'm sorry that I don't have more exciting stories this week. I'm sure I will soon, though. We have a lesson tonight that will determine a lot about our other investigator, Marquita. Pray that she has read the Book of Mormon! And also pray that I will figure out how to teach with Sisiter Lewis (and that I will know how to train!).

I love you all!

"Have a blessed day, everybody." ~ Keara

~Sister April Atkin

Oh, Missouri... :)

Hola Familia!

All of the sisters here are studying to switch to be spanish speaking, so I have a lot of spanish on my brain. :) Don't worry, I thought about it for about 2 seconds, and it feels so wrong for me to switch languages. It's not even a question. Some of the sisters are asking to be switched, and President Keyes doesn't mind switching them. He asked some sisters to switch, but I know he won't ask me. That is not what I am supposed to do. I know it. Which is funny because I wanted to learn a language so badly before I got my call. But really I wanted that for me, and not for the people I would be serving, so there you go.

Why do bad things happen to good people? For several reasons. First of all, we all have agency, so sometimes people make wrong choices that hurt other people. God won't take away their angency, even when they are choosing wrong things. We get to show how we will use that gift of agency in this life, so he can't take that test away from anyone. Secondly, we go through experiences here on earth that try us and teach us. We show how strong we really are when we are placed under pressure. And we learn. We wouldn't really recognize the joy of heaven if we haven't experienced sorrow. The hard things we go through really shape us into who we will become. How we respond to them shows our commitment to Christ and our efforts to choose the right.

Next week is transfers, and Sister Dodd is probably being moved. She's been here for 8 months (5 transfers). Time to go. I might train next transfer, which is a bit nerve racking. It would be really good for me, but it would be hard. I'm excited for Willie to be a District Leader! He'll be good at it. At least he kept his old companion. :) That's great.

This week wasn't really an eventful one. There's not a ton to talk about. Today all of a sudden the weather turned very cold. It snowed and boy was it windy. People are right when they talk about the piercing Missouri winter wind. Brrrr. We're staying warm. :) The roads are a little icy because Missouri doesn't have the resources for this kind of thing like Utah does. So the other sisters asked me to drive today. We've only used our ABS four times so far.... but nothing dangerous, I promise. I know how to drive in snow--slowly, braking early, and just being smart. So don't worry.

oh, question of the day. The Book of Mormon is Another Testament of Jesus Christ. Testament means covenant, not testimony. So what is the other covenant in the Book of Mormon? We have the Old Testament (the Law of Moses), the New Testament (the Higher Law given by Christ because he fulfilled the old law), and now Another Testament? I have some ideas, but I would love to hear what you think. (peak at D&C 84:57. Maybe you'll understand it better than I do.)

On Sunday we had a really good lesson with Selene. She came to the VC to see the Joseph Smith movie, and really we weren't going to do a lesson afterwards, but we sat and chatted. She is going to be baptized. Really. Under gentle prompting she brought up more of her concerns. One of her major concerns is that she doesn't know if she will fit in in our ward. She's a little bolder and just a bigger personality than she has seen in the other women. She worries that because she is past the stage in her life where she can be a mother and she doesn't make casseroles for funerals, she doesn't really have a purpose in the church. So I told her my story.

One of the main things I've learned on my mission is really what "one heart and one mind" and Zion means. I was afraid to be a VC sister and nearly had a break down in the MTC because I didn't think I fit the mold. I thought that they would make me do things the VC sister way, and that I really wasn't cut out for the job. I'm sure I've told you about this before. I didn't want to be cookie cutter, and I thought I had to be.

But I accepted my call and came here. Now I know that none of these sisters meet that mold. We are all so different with different talents and personalities! They have so much more depth than the stereotype of VC sisters would suggest! And I learned that if I did conform to some mold, I would be missing the point. I was called as a VC sister in Independence Missouri for my unique talents, abilities, and personality. Zion isn't about being one person, one personality, interests, and abilities. Zion is about using our unique and different talents for the same goal--to build the Lord's Kingdom on earth. And that is what we are doing.

So I told Selene about that, and how I struggled with the same idea at first--a girl studying physics in a VC?? yep. I told her what I learned. And she cried. She stood up and gave me a long hug. When she stepped back, she grabbed both of my hands and said, "you were here for me. You were called here for me."

I know it sounds cliche, but I know I was supposed to come here and find Selene. She was prepared for me. We've really clicked and I know I'm going to stay in contact with her forever. I love her so much! I hope that she and Orson get married next year and invite me to their sealing. That would make my life.

We did get to see Lyric this week, but she's not progressing. I don't know if there is anything that really will motivate her to change her life. She doesn't really have the desire to have her prayers answered, so I don't know if there is anything we can do. :(

Oh, at the VC they set up an art display in one of the theathers that will stay up until April. It is a display of Liz Lemon Swindle's paintings of the Savior. Her Liberty Jail paintings are my favorites. She's from around here, and we have her original paintings here at the VC. It's exciting. :) They are beautiful.

That's pretty much my week. I'm becoming really good friends with Sister Thorne and Sister Mindal. Last night when the storm rolled in, no one came to the VC. It was totally dead. So Sister Dodd, Sister Thorne, Sister Minall, and I had a wonderful time talking. I laughed so hard! I love them so much! We will all stay friends after the mish, fo sho.

Here is the random stories section of my email:

A fight broke out outside of our apartment yesterday. I thought someone was going to get murdered or something, but in the end someone just reved their engine and drove off (living behind a cloud of very bad words).

Our upstairs neighbor can always be seen through his blacony door watching TV with his porn calendar in the background.

A member was dropping us off at our car in a random coul de sac, and this guy started taking a ton of pictures of us and our car. I don't know why. He only pretended to be sneaky, but really was overt about it (he used the flash and everything). I wonder what he could do with liscence plate information...

But in spite of the scaryish things that happen every day, I feel so safe and protected out here. It's amazing. Some of the VC sisters had all of the cars in their parking lot broken into, except a few junkers and their brand new, white 2012 Malibou. Really, we are protected.

Welp, that's all folks.

I love you more than a fat kid loves cake!

 

Your silly sister missionary,

Sister April Atkin

 

Broken Heart and Contrite Spirit

Dear Family,

Right now I am just so happy. I can't even explain it. I am just SO happy. I love being a missionary! :)

I'm glad you like my journal so much. :) I thought you might. I knew that there was no way I could tell you everything through letters and emails, so I thought you would like that. Don't judge because there are a few embarrassing things in there, so those parts are just for you. I really wanted you to know what it is like to be a missionary. :) Keep in mind that I've grown a lot since that journal, so some of the things that were hard then aren't anymore. It's amazing to see how much I have grown. I feel like I'm living a mini life out here in Missouri, and so I've lived about 3 years in normal life rather than just 3 months. I love it. I'm also glad that you are learning from what I've been learning. Mom, I learned that from the Holy Ghost as I've studied and thought about it. I don't think anyone taught me that, but I know that it is true. It feels so true to me.

Okay. This week.

So last Thursday after I emailed you, Sister Dodd got sick. She had a fever and a headache. But we had a really important appointment with Selene, so I dropped her off at the Visitors' Center and picked up Sister Thorne to come with me. It was my first time driving in the mission field because I just barely passed off my lessons, and I had to do it without Sister Dodd! I was really nervous to go without her. Sister Thorne is a brand new missionary, so that was nerve racking, too, but of all of the Sisters that I could have taken with me, I just had a good feeling about taking her. On the list, her name just stood out to me. So, as missionaries do, I went against logic and went with it.

We made it to our appointment, and had dinner with her (we actually had two dinner appointments that night, but we thought it would be worth it to let Selene have the opportunity to serve us. I thought it would make her more comfortable and open). Last time we met with her, she gave us homework. She really doesn't like the idea that people have that all good things come from God and the devil made me do any bad things, so basically I have no responsibility for what happens to me. So we studied up on it, and I had a huge list of scriptures on call, but in the end we just stayed in 2 Nephi 2, which is the best chapter ever on the topic. We talked about how we have the power to choose eternal happiness or eternal misery. We are tempted by the devil and the Holy Ghost/Light of Christ prompt us to do good, but we choose which we follow. Blessings come from obedience, and consequences follow sin, but it is our choice. It was a wonderful discussion.

Then she told us that she had a series of questions that would lead to a bigger idea/concern she wanted to talk about. We agreed. She asked us, Why do bad things happen to good people? Do you regret the bad things that have happened to you? What does it mean to have a broken heart and contrite spirit? The first question is a normal investigator question, but it was definitely leading to ground that is less covered by most investigators. I'll let you try to answer those questions on your own, but basically, Selene doesn't regret the bad things she's been through because they made her who she is. She's done wrong things and now recognizes that they didn't bring her happiness, but she learned from them, so she doesn't feel broken up about it. In her baptist upbringing, the whole point of a sermon on Sunday was to bring members of the congregation to realize that they are horrible, worthless sinners, to the point of being absolutely broken up about it, sobbing. They then move to the front of the room and say a prayer in which they accept Jesus into their lives. So that's what she thinks "broken heart and contrite spirit" means. We had a wonderful discussion about it.

I don't have permission to share everything we talked about, so I won't, but that lesson was a miracle. Sister Thorne shared some experiences that were very difficult in her past (not sins, but very hard trials). Selene loved it. She had the very same experiences when she was young. They connected. Sister Thorne bore her testimony of the light the gospel has brought to her life and how it strengthened her through the hard times. The spirit was so strong. I know that Selene was supposed to meet Sister Thorne. It had to happen. I didn't even have to be there for that lesson--it could have easily been Sister Dodd--but Sister Thorne was supposed to go there. Amazing.

Sister Thorne also told me of another miracle that I wasn't even aware of until later. During the lesson she felt prompted to share Nephi's Psalm. It's been very meaningful to her recently, but she didn't really see how it connected to what we were talking about. But she was obedient and talked about it, then started sharing a bit of it. She started reading in a kind of random place (v 32), reading out loud. "May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite!" I heard something happen in her voice at this point, but she kept reading until v 34. She had no idea that it talked about broken heart and contrite spirit in those verses. She just was prompted to read them, and she found out the same time as the rest of us that it references it there. Wow.

So we talked about what it really means to have a broken heart and contrite spirit, and what repentence really is. Having regrets isn't what the gospel is about. It is recognizing that we broke eternal laws and that we need to change. It means recognizing that right NOW we need Christ to be whole and being willing to accept His help. The gospel is all about changing. Recognizing that not only can we change, but we have to, and we CAN, through the atonement. I love this gospel so much. :)

It was a miracle lesson. We saw more miracles that night, but that was the main one. Her homework for our next visit was the idea of a submissive wife and our church's view on it. Got it covered. Oh, by the way, she's finished with the Book of Mormon now. She's reading the D&C.

Our next visit with her was on Tuesday. Tuesday was exchanges, so I didn't get to go (I was with Sister Minall, one of my favorite sisters in Independence), but it was another miracle lesson. They taught her the 3rd lesson, but focused on Faith and Baptism. They asked her if she had thought more about baptism since we last talked about it. She said she thinks this is the right path for her and she wants to be baptized!!! She hasn't set a date yet, but she's looking at end of February, beginning of March. YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!! I am so happy for her! This will make her so happy and fill in all of the wholes in her life that she's dealt with her whole life! It won't be easy to tell her Baptist family about, but I just am so happy about it. It's exciting to see the first real progressing investigator I've helped find move toward baptism. So exciting!!

Saturday was also a day of miracles. We had only one appointment with an widow in our ward that likes us to visit, so we did a lot of contacting. Most of it was not going anywhere, but then Sister Dodd was like, "Hey, I have an idea. Turn here. Okay, turn here. Okay, park there." I was thinking, what on earth are we doing? Okay. I'll go with it.

She told me that she just remembered a former investigator that lived near here, and decided we should go visit her. So we were walking down the stree (it was a beautiful day, probably in the 60's) and there was a woman loading her kids into her car. We stopped and talked to her, and she was super nice! We got a return appointment! She said she knew a member in Odessa (near here). Then we kept walking. The former wasn't home, but it was a beautiful day, so let's try some more doors. There was a woman outside smoking so we went and talked to her. She was nice, too. At first I really thought she wasn't interested, but then she seemed excited to get a pamphlet. She doesn't live there--it's her cousin's house--but she's seen our church before in Lee's Summit, and she's thought about visiting some time. We gave her the address and time of sacrement, and she said she would love to come sometime. She's been looking for a church. Then we kept walking down the street and decided to try one more house. I picked. As we were walking up, a young boy came out the front door. "oh. MOOoom. Someone's here!" She came out. She was super nice, too!! What?! This never happens! Her name was Marquita, and her son's name was Shawndarious. We got a return appointment with her, and she seemed really genuine. "Yeah, whenever my car is here, I'm home and you are welcome to come over." That is not something someone who is going to avoid us later would say. :)

So it was a morning of miracles. Three nice people on one street? That doesn't happen. And they were all women. I've started to notice that our area was really made for sisters. Right now all of the work to be done is with women. How inspired. And Sister Dodd is so inspired to have us go there! I'm always amazed at how inspired she is. She really has a gift for listening to the spirit on where we should go next. It's amazing.

We had a really funny lesson this week with Immaculate (remember her? She's from Cameroon). I don't have a ton of time, so you get the shortened version. We walked in, and there was no way the heater was on. She complained about the cold. She got out a space heater, and the little screen said it was 58 degrees in her house. It was blowing, but the number didn't ever change on the screen. brr. She offered us cake, and we had just eaten a huge meal, but we couldn't say no, so we took the cake. It was homemade, and very gross. It was dry, grainy, dense, and flavorless. Ick. But we choked it down and said thank you. It was actually a really good lesson, but it was getting darker and darker outside, and she didn't turn on any lights. It got to the point where I couldn't even really see her anymore. I mean, her skin is so dark anyway, and then it was SO dark in that room. But we kept teaching (no scriptures were read--there was no way we could read them). She didn't seem to notice. I kept forcing small bites of the dry cake into my mouth. I thought I gag from how dry it was and how full I was. I looked up and noticed that Sister Dodd's cake had suddenly disappeared, but it was so dark I didn't see what had happened to it. Then I realized that she must have snuck it into her pocket! I was so jealous because I knew I couldn't do the same thing with the pockets in my coat. I was laughing my head off internally at everything that was happening. It was hilarious.

Really the only other thing worth talking about that happened this week is that yesterday was District Meeting. It was a crazy day, and our district is awesome, but kind of crazy. After District Meeting we went out to lunch. We were sitting there, just chatting because we are all friends in our district, and one of the elders blatantly started hitting on me. It was so awkward! Everyone just went quiet and started at him. I just said. "wow. That's awkward." He tried to fix it but just dug himself deeper. Everyone was just quietly staring at him. It was pretty clear I was very uncomfortable. That is NOT supposed to happen on a mission. Whatever. Weird.

Anyhoo, that was my week. I'm out of time.

But I love you all very much!

I hope you are having a wonderful week!

Love,

Sister April Atkin

P.S. Mom, don't worry about me exercising anymore. Sister Minall was a boxer before her mission, so now she is acting as our trainer every Wednesday and Saturday morning. I'm sore today and it is wonderful. :)

P.P.S. Dad, I had a very strange moment this week. Sister Dodd and I were just talking about our families, and I talked about you, and suddenly I missed you SO badly. I just cried. It came out of nowhere.  I miss you! That was probably the first time I've been homesick out here. I got back to work and got over it, but just know I love you and miss you a lot!!!

P.P.P.S. There is an amazing senior couple at the VC called the Andersons. They are from Canada and I think of them as adopted grandparents. I love them! So when I have gospel questions, I go to them. I love them! This week we talked about blood. hahah, I know, weird. But I've been thinking about it. Try to piece together these random thoughts: God has a perfect body because He doesn't have blood. He has something else. Christ is the Son of God, and his blood washes us clean and white while other people's blood stains us and cries from the ground against the wicked. So what all is the symbolism of our blood compared to that of God's and Christ's? One stains the other cleans? Christ could have lived forever if he hadn't been killed--was that because of His blood that He inherited from His Father? Just think about it. Interesting.

A Very Merry Week

Dear Family,

It was so good to talk to you this week. :) I feel like I don't have a ton to say since I talked to you so recently. It's also been a slow week because of the Holidays. Everyone is too busy. This email might be a little all over the place, but isn't life that way?

But I want to thank you again for the presents you sent. They were perfect. :) Thank you thank you thank you.

Also, pass along the note that I LOVED the package I got from all of my friends. Thank you to Erilyn and Jessica in particular. That package was perfect. I loved all of the little notes. I laughed and cried over all of the letters and silly thoughts. Mike and Ikes, Hot chocolate, and Peanut Butter M&Ms all made me smile. and the little turtle. nothin' like a good ol' inside joke. :)

Talking to Willie was the best thing ever. I wish I could talk to him at the end of every day. He's growing up so much! What a stud!! I have a rockstar of a brother. BFFs. It's amazing how much is similar and how much is different in our missions. They are totally the same and totally opposite. The VC has a lot to do with that. It's a way bigger part of my call than I realized before my mission. It really is a huge responsibility.

So a couple of things went on in the VC this last week. For December the VC had musical nights around the Christus. The last night of the season was put on by the sisters. They think I can play the piano for some reason, so I accompanied two of the songs. I messed up a bit, but it was alright. I really am improving a lot at the piano out here. I love it. Thanks mom. :) Anyway, without telling me, the sisters in charge decided to make the theme of the night the stuff I talked about in my 5 minute talk at Zone Conference. Apparently it touched a lot of people. We've talked about those ideas a lot since then, and it's amazing to see how the Lord used me as his mouthpiece. I was super sick, but He made it possible for me to get up there because He knew that everyone needed what I had prepared. Crazy. So the theme of the night was 3 Nephi 18:24 and Christ being the Light of the World. It was cool. The spirit was really strong.

Oh, I don't know if I ever told you, but I have a calling at the VC to be over all referral stuff. I had that calling last transfer, too. I train on how to get them, how to call them, and how to use Chat. I call for accountabilities every week, too. It's good for me. Anyway, every Friday morning, the VC has a training for the sisters and I was in charge of the training last week. It went really well. There were a ton of questions. I think it has been a better week for referrals all around. :) This calling is good for me because of anyone, I was the one needing an attitude change about the whole thing. It's helped.

I totally agree with Willie about the day after Christmas being a let down. At the VC, 3 of the sisters had the stomach flu all day. I'm just glad I didn't get it. It sounded a lot like what I had a couple of weeks ago. I'm glad that is over. It doesn't help that it looks like early October out here. We're in the 50s every day. No snow. It definitely does not feel like winter.

I have a couple of cool VC stories this week, though.

First of all, I gave a tour (*ahem* we're supposed to call them 'presentations') to a middle aged couple that were just traveling through. They were members from Utah and were very nice. At the end of the tour I took them to go see God's Plan for His Family. Right as we were walking in one of the FM (Facilities Management) Missionaries came in with an obviously nonmember woman. They joined us to see God's Plan. She lost her dad, who was her best friend, a couple of months ago and is still really struggling with it. He met her at Wendy's so he decided to bring her here. She wasn't all there, and it was clear she was a heavy smoker. Her voice and breathing were very deep and raspy.

I started the movie, and just prayed and prayed that I would be able to say the right things to be able to touch Anna's (that was her name) and the couple's hearts. I wanted to have both of them have a good experience. Watching their faces during the presentation, I think they did. Then at the end, Anna just started talking. At first it sounded like random stories (like I said, she's not all there), but then it came together. She told us the story of how it was just a normal day and her dad fell down and died at her feet. She told us how guilty she felt about the things she had said to him shortly before. She also talked a lot about how she didn't know how much he had been suffering with his heart condition, and how she just wants to know if he's suffering now. I bore simple testimony of the joy of the Gospel, and of Heavenly Father's love for her. I tried to teach some of the plan of Salvation, but she couldn't hear it.

Then we were walking out, and the woman in the back (in the couple) stood up, just crying. She came over and bore her testimony and gave Anna a hug. It was perfect. It was exactly what I had prayed for. I wanted this perfect couple to be able to share their love of the gospel and tell this woman how the gospel has blessed their family. I wanted them to be the ones to talk. And that hug was perfect. They left, holding hands and crying. I think they were grateful to have been there for that moment to help this crazy woman. It was cool.

I took Anna to the Christus and she really liked it a lot. I didn't ask her to meet with missionaries in the end, because it didn't feel right. The FM missionary is in control and I trust him to know if or when she will be ready for it. If it doesn't happen, I honestly believe that after she dies and doesn't have all of the disabilities she's carrying with her now, she will recognize and know the truth.

Another cool thing happened later this week. A young man came in the Visitors' Center. He was alone, so I took Sister Lisonbee with me on the tour. He's studying Art History, and was driving through on his way to school in the east, and "wanted to check out our museum here". Obviously he didn't know what he was in for. He just wanted to look at our art. We showed him around and taught him about the restoration. He only had 15 or 20 minutes, but in those 20 minutes we taught him about the Book of Mormon, the First Vision, Priesthood, Christ, and really, most of the first lesson. By the end of the short time, he asked if we had any literature for him, and he seemed excited to take a Book of Mormon and some pamphlets. We asked if he wanted to learn more from missionaries, and he said yes and gave us his information. He even said, "I came here interested in art, but you know, I would like to learn more about this. I find it very interesting." In those 20 minutes everything changed. It was so perfect!! It's amazing how sometimes people come into the Visitors' Center and they don't even know why they are there. The Lord leads them there because they are ready and they don't even know it. And the other cool thing is that his interest in what we were saying changed when I recited the first vision to him. Those words are so powerful. In the MTC they had us memorize it, and I have used it every time I have taught the first lesson. Every time I recite it the spirit comes in powerfully, bearing testimony. It's amazing. Everything goes quiet and the person pauses to listen to what I'm saying. It's like the world pauses to hear those words. I love it.

After he walked out of the front doors I just stood there like, Wow. Did that just happen? I looked down at the referral card and saw his email address was @yale.edu. Wow! a Yale student! Awesome! So there are some missionaries in Conneticut that are going to get a pretty amazing referral. I wish I could know what happens with him, but it's alright. I did my part.

One thing he mentioned that I thought was interesting was that he had seen missionaries before. He studied abroad in Japan and the only other white guys on the bus had black name tags. It just goes to show that people notice us. We're different, and they see everything we do. And it takes a few encounters with the church to be the right time for most people.

I love being a missionary!

Also, this week I passed off the last of my lessons! I can drive now! I feel like I'm turning 16 all over again. It's cool. It's a little intimidating because we drive really nice cars out here (I might look into buy a Ford Fusion when I get home. It's my favorite of the cars we drive) but I'm ready. And so is Sister Dodd. She's excited to not drive every day.

That was pretty much my week! Hopefully I get some cool stories in my area this week to share with you. :)

I love you all!

Have a wonderful week!

looooooooooooooooove,

Sister April Atkin