Week 2 - Halfway!

Editor's note (AKA Amy intervenes): Some of this email was business oriented, just info that her parents need, so I omitted it. It makes the email a lot shorter, but that is just the way it goes when you have limited email time as a missionary. 

Dear Mom and Family,

Today marks the halfway point of my MTC experience. I was going to send pictures today, I brought my camera and everything, and the computer will NOT let me upload them. So I'm sorry, but you might not get any of those until I'm in Missouri.

I'm so proud of you mom. You will give a wonderful lesson on temples. Because nonmembers need to know that everything in our church leads to temples. One reason for that is because the church is all about families. Everything is about families. Yesterday we had a devotional (every Tuesday), and Julie B. Beck spoke. She talked about how everything is about the family - the fall, the atonement, the creation, everything. It was wonderful. You will give a wonderful message. I have faith in you. :) Know that you have a missionary praying for you. :)

I had heard rumor about that pastor saying those things (about Mormons not being Christians), but I'm not worried. The Lord works in mysterious ways, and I really think that there is no such thing as bad publicity for the church (unless someone in it does something bad). This article will get people thinking about the church, and I think it will gain the church some support. I think hundreds of people will be going tomormon.org because of this. What a blessing! And if they believe him, no harm done because they probably believed it anyway. I think this will only do good for the church as people try to find out for themselves.

My district is pretty good. We actually had some district drama this week, but I guess these really are still 19 year old boys. A short version is that some of the elders were breaking rules, so the sisters corrected them (leaving their companion, going back to their room instead of class, etc.). They have been talking bad about us behind our backs ever since, and really ignore us a lot. The Zone Leaders talked to them (one of them was the District Leader), so things are improving. These boys have big hearts, but hard heads, so they will learn to get over that. Exact obedience is important. The DL finally started asking us to pray in class - the first time since our first two days here, so that's improvement. We'll take it. These boys have great potential.

I got a letter from Willie this week and it made my day. What a stud! I look up to him a lot, and these block heads will be lucky if they get him as a companion (I mean that in the nicest way. These boys have great potential, and I love them, it just is difficult sometimes).

We have some progressing investigators that are wonderful. One is Hely Meza, and she is so sweet. She could talk our ears off for hours and hours! The hard thing is getting a word in about the gospel! She asked us about our mothers, and I told her about you, mom. She seemed so impressed to hear us speak kindly of our mothers. She wants her daughter to meet with us. :) (these aren't real investigators, but it is still fun.) Another investigator is Janet, but I don't like her as much. It is frustrating because I am trying everything I know how to do, and I still feel like I am failing. We just can't reach her, even though we are praying our heads off and bearing testimony with our whole hearts. I reached my limit with her on Saturday and when she refused to pray, I said, "Janet, I can't do this for you." almost rudely. I felt awful at first, but it worked! She apparently needed me to be bold, borderline rude to act on anything we said. Anyway, I'm learning a lot.

Another investigator is Ben. We haven't figured out how to tell him he actually wasn't speaking in tongues in his church. We'll get there. He committed to baptism, though.

I'm trying even how to capture this week in an email, and I don't know how. So much has happened, but nothing has happened. It feels like one long day with naps. The days all blend together. I am very happy here. My companions have learned to laugh at my love of milk and how I love to run up stairs, and I am learning to talk less (sometimes I dominate the lessons. They don't mind, but it isn't good for any of us.)

I finally met a sister going to my mission! She is in a district will all Elders going to my mission too!! So we all leave the same day. I won't be flying alone. :) I am the only Visitor's Center sister, and that is why I am alone in my district. The three of us are the only VCs. I'm so excited.

Oh! And we joined the MTC choir! It is amazing. It is 3/4 men, but it sounds good. I'm singing alto. We sang where can I turn for Peace, and I loved it. What a release.

Anyway, I gotta go. I'll send you a letter later today.

I love you all! Thank you for your support! I am very happy here and have learned a lot. :)

Love,

Sister April Atkin

The First Week

Hello All!

I did it! I made it through the first week! It feels like forever since I left home, but it still isn't really real that I'm here at the MTC, and that I'm a missionary. Wow.

The first few days were really not easy, if I'm being honest. I was SOO tired. And I was a little frustrated, because I didn't feel like we were learning anything. The elders in my district seemed pretty immature.

BUT now its is awesome! We are progressing like crazy! I love my companions (it's fun to have a groupie wherever I go, and they are super sweet), and I have learned to love my district. They are like little brothers to me now, which is awesome because they are all going to Willie's mission! It's been so fun to see them learn and mature in one week. I will miss them when they leave us for our Visitor Center Training.

We have already started teaching investigators (well, actors, but you know), and we have shown a great learning curve. The very first lesson we taught bombed. We did horribly. But our most recent went great! And General Conference here was amazing!! I felt like every talk was about missionary work, and was for me. I liked how one guy said that we are learning the foreign language of the spirit. It made me feel better because sometimes I feel out of place speaking English when it feels like everyone else is speaking something else. But, learning the Spirit's language has been soo cool! It's very different here than it has ever been for me in my whole life, but it is so good. It really reminds me of the spirit I feel in the temple. I haven't really cried even though I feel the spirit all the time (you know how unusual that is for me). Chad Lewis came and gave a fireside on Sunday, and it was awesome. SOO good. I'm gonna let my greenie light shine. :)

Overall life, is good! Our roommates are great (not in our zone or anything), and make me laugh super hard. Our elders are goofs. The food is good, but too much, so I'm working on not eating everything they give me. I'm not surprised people get fat here. I'm still drinking a lot of milk. :) (actually, one day I totally dumped milk all over my dress. It was embarrassing. Oh, well. Mom, yes, it was on my flower belt that we wanted to keep clean. Oops.) Also, Sometimes I feel like the Elders think the sisters have a disease. We get ignored a lot. Well, a lot of doors are opened, but besides that and our district, very few guys talk to us. It's actually kinda funny. We are still learning the ropes here, but everything runs like a well oiled machine. It's good.

The other thing is that I LOVE gym time. It is my favorite. I have hated gym my whole life until now, and now it feels like a wonderful release. We have played bocce ball (yep. That's weird) and vollyball. We are making vollyball friends. It's fun. (one of them is 6' 10", so that is less fun unless he is on our team). Running around is amazing! As usual, I did get hit in the face by a ball, but that is normal for me, and I still love Vollyball. I really look forward to it.

This morning we went to the temple and it was soooo good. We were the only sisters, which was crazy, but fun.

I have seen so many people I know here! Amy Beck, Shane Feuz, people from my proofs class, and a bajillion other people. Katie Soh has been my favorite though. She's acted kinda like a big sister to me, giving me tips and advice and optimism. I love her to pieces! She is Sarah's second cousin, a friend from BYU, and is going to Milan Italy (she got me excited about having cod nuggets in the MTC, but that is another story. They are pretty good). Oh, one of the elders in my district is from Vernal and knows all of the Atkin family there, especially Derron and uncle Dennis. his name is Elder Wheeler.

Thank you for the mail! It means a lot. Aunt Laura sent me a package and made my day. :) She will be getting a letter from me soon.

I don't even know how to express everything I'm feeling here! I feel like a new person. I've never prayed so much in my life. Everyone here has gone through something hard and is so strong. I feel so inexperienced and weak sometimes, but I'm growing, so I'm not sad about it. I haven't been homesick yet, but that is not because I don't love you. Letting dad go at the MTC was really hard, but I'm doing the right thing! I know it!! The name tag seems second nature now. I'm lost when it isn't on me. I can't imagine coming home, so I won't worry about that until I have to.

Holy cow, family, the church is true. I can't believe that I've been trusted to be a part of this work! I pray for you, and I hope your missionary experiences are going great - you'll have to tell me about them. I'm praying for you.

I don't have my camera, but next week.

I can't wait to go to Missouri!

I gotta go, but I love you SOOOOO much!! To pieces! More than I can say!

Have an amazing week!

your missionary,

Sister April Atkin

First Letter: September 30, 2011

Dear Family,

Just so you know, I love you and I am fine.

My companions are Sister Denison and Sister Rasmussen. We're a Trio! They are from West Jordan and Murry. (Respectively)

Hey family! This fill in the blank letter thing didn't work out so well because I actually have two companions! They both seem super nice. Sister Denison is going to U of U and Sister Rasmussen is going to USU so with me going to BYU, we have quite the variety. It's fun so far, I love it! The first day is a little overwhelming and exhausting, but awesome.  In my district there is my trio, and six elders heading to -guess where- Tulsa, Oklahoma!!! One of them even knows Derron Atkin! I'll have to write Willie about these guys, he'll get to know some of them, for sure. My two companions are going to Cleveland, Ohio (Kirtland Visitors Center), so I'm the odd man out.
This is so unreal. It feels like a combo of EFY, 3rd grade, and awesomeness: meaning, there is a spectrum of people from overzealous to not so-much and we are clinging to our trio getting to know everyone (like an assigned table in 3rd grade), but I love it.
I'm sure that i will get lost on campus, but everyone is friendly. It really feels like a separate world, and not like Provo at all.
Anyway, I love you!
Love,
April
Sister Atkin

The Send Off

President Israelsen came to our home to set April apart.

April packing. "I hope I didn't forget anything!"

A pretty place for good-byes.

Almost there. "Is this real?"

One last hug.

Off she goes!

See you in 18 months!

Farewell

Yesterday was a wonderful, difficult, perfect day.
It was my farewell talk at church with an open house afterwards. As soon as I sat on the stand (actually did you know it is called the rostrum? I didn't) before the meeting started and looked out over all of the people that had come out to support me, I started to cry. I felt so overwhelmed by all the love. I had no idea so many people cared! I was also bursting with the love I felt for them. I was having a hard time holding myself together and I hadn't even stood up to give my talk yet.
Then I gave my talk. I feel very good about it. My subject was "restoration", which is vague enough that I really could do whatever I wanted to with it. First, I talked about the miracle of the restoration of the true gospel in its fullness to the earth. Then I told the story of the restoration of the gospel to my family in little Iola, Kansas, and the miracles involved there. What a blessing it is to have Iola in my mission! Then I talked about having a personal restoration--letting the gospel be restored to you, personally, and ultimately for us all to be restored to our loving Heavenly Father. I took a brief moment at the end to encourage everyone to spread the message of the restoration to the living, dead, inactive, and really just everyone so that we can all be restored to our Father. I ended with the words to the hymn, The Morning Breaks, which is all about the joy of the restoration.
I felt really good about my talk until I sat down and looked at the clock. I had spoken for just over twenty minutes. We sang a congregational hymn, and then the high counsel speaker took only five minutes, leaving five minutes for the stake president. Oops. I probably should have cut something, but no use fretting about it now.
After Sunday School and Relief Society, we headed back to my house for some food. Again, I was amazed by how many people came. Later we did the math, and my mom figures we fed around fifty people. If you know the women of my family at all, you know they were fed well. :)
Then it was time for everyone to leave. I hadn't thought about how hard it would be to say goodbye to my twenty closest friends all in one afternoon. I have been given the gift of weeping, if that is a gift, so when the faucet is on, it is on. I cried a lot. I was sad, but it was a happy sad. I'm doing the right thing. Knowing that gives me the strength to say goodbye and leave, trusting that I will have some friends when I get back. Some goodbyes were harder than others. One of the hardest was my best friend Erilyn, who has been my rock, my strength, my voice of reason, my safe place, my confidante, and my companion on many silly adventures. But she will write me, and this new adventure will be worth it.
What an absolutely exhausting day. I had my final stake president interview and it felt so good to be able to say without a single doubt that I know that I am worthy to go on a mission. There is no question, and that brings me peace. I am so glad.
It was such long, hard day. But it was perfect. I wouldn't change a thing about it. When I am having a hard day on my mission, I will just remember all of those people back at home that are supporting me, praying for me, and that love me. Their love yesterday was overwhelming, but very strengthening. Thanks to all of you. I think it will carry me through my mission. :)
After all that, it was too late to take a nap. So I tried to stay awake until ten to go to bed, but I crashed on the couch at 8:30. I stumbled to bed around 9:30, and slept until 7:30.
I really think that yesterday was the hardest day. Now I am just looking forward to Wednesday, at 12:40. It will be hard to say goodbye to my family, but at that point I won't have a chance to sit and cry like I did yesterday. They will write me, and we are sealed forever in the temple, which is a huge comfort.
I am handing over control of my blog to my sister Amy. She will publish my emails home every week, so keep checking to hear how I'm doing. Letters would be great. Rachel will put my address on my facebook account. I'm in the United States, so it really wouldn't be hard for you to write to me.
"Shall we not go on in so great a cause?"
Yes I shall!!!

Afraid

Sometimes I am filled with the irrational fear that by leaving on a mission, I am giving up all of my friends forever. And that I will never be a part of a fun group ever again.
I am often--usually--much more afraid of coming home from a mission than I am of going on one. It sounds waaaaaaay harder.
I just need to remember to take things one day at a time, and that God won't punish me for serving him. I'll handle it when I get there. No good worrying about it today.
There. I got it out. Now I can stop worrying.

Counting Down

Today is September 20th.
I leave on my mission September 28th.
Do the math--that is 8 days left. Yesterday I realized I was into the single digits, and it really is just unreal.
I am so thrilled, and excited, and nervous. I have no idea what to expect.
I was talking to a friend, and I realized that one of the things I am most nervous about is having everything live up to my dreams. I want so badly to love my mission that I am afraid that I won't love it as much as I want to. I know it is going to be extremely hard and that it won't be what I expect and all that, but I want to love it. I want to love it with my whole heart, and what if I don't?
I try not to think about that too much.
I'm gonna love it.
Then yesterday, out of the blue, I had a missionary experience. It was amazing. I think Heavenly Father saw me worrying a little bit about my inadequacies, abilities, and about whether or not I will like being a missionary and decided to give me a small, teeny, tiny glimpse.
I was sitting at a table in the LDS institute building on USU campus (yeah, I know--missionary experiences don't usually happen in dedicated buildings) and this girl came and sat at my table to eat lunch. I was reading in the Book of Mormon preparing for my farewell talk that is this Sunday.
I politely acknowledged her sitting at my table and went back to reading. Then she said, "Excuse me, but how do you know?" She was staring pointedly at my scriptures. "How do you know they are true?"
After the half second pause I had to take to soak in that, yes, this was happening to me, and yes, a person had just asked me a golden question, I threw together an answer about how happy it makes me feel, how it makes me a better person, and some other stuff. I'm sure I could have come up with a better answer, but I was surprised. Give me a break.
It started an awesome discussion. I asked her questions and listened, and she asked me questions and listened. I learned a little about her background. She was raised in a part member home, and was officially still a member, even though she had been practicing Islam for the past few years. She had never read the Book of Mormon, so she didn't know it was true, and didn't understand the significance of Jesus Christ.
However, talking to her, I think that she does know that the church is true. She's had a hard life, but she remembers how she felt in Primary and in her bishop's home. She's starting to go back to her Single's Ward.
We ended up talking for around 40 minutes until she had to go, and I really felt like we had a connection. It was amazing.
God really had a plan. Often He is in the details. He knew that she was on the brink of coming back and remembering what she knew, and that she just needed to talk to someone about it to remember and recommit. She promised me to give the Book of Mormon a one month try, to see if she could know, too. He also knew that I needed the confidence that came from testifying of the Book of Mormon to a stranger. Not only did it show me that I can, in fact, do it, it also showed me that I loved it. I felt full of joy as I was telling her what I knew. It was awesome. I guess I am ready to go next week.